Confessions of a Shy "What if?"er...

I live by the old saying, "Those who don't know me think I'm quiet. Those that do wish I was." Having a job dealing in customer service has really made me step out of my comfort zone. I am now the one who has to reach out and initiate the conversation. And that, my friends, is something that I really am not comfortable doing. But sometimes, you just have to gather up your courage and do it.

The same is true for us as Christians. Most of the time God will put us in uncomfortable situations. Why? It's a test. A test of how much you really trust Him. A test of your heart. A test of your faith.

2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." And before I get to the spirit of power, let just touch on why I think love and self- discipline are also crucial to this verse. Because they are a part of boldness. We live in a world that is full of a lot of loud, rude, obnoxious people. And most of the time, these people don't know when to stop. They have so much courage that they are constantly screaming or yelling or just, whatever. Being in a spirit of love means that you are not proud, nor rude, nor self-seeking. You don't get easily angered and you keep no record of wrong to confront about (1 Corinthians 13). Having the spirit of self- discipline recognizes the fact that there is a time and place for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1). You can't always be the stand up comedian. In just some situations it may not be appropriate. But we are called to be bold, even if it means simply having the courage to go and comfort a stranger. To offer advice. Or hold up a "Free Prayer" sign.

But at least for me, being bold means I need to be more a Doer of the Word. So many times I have witnessed opportunities go by that I think, "What if I had actually told them about Christ? I had perfect opportunity to. I missed it!" I am neglecting in my customer service for Christ. It's not always just about listening, taking it in, and then saying "Oh bummer." It's also about reaching out. Serving others. Doing what God calls us to do. This applies to sermons too- not merely hearing the words of a preacher, but acting on them. Not merely hearing what God is calling us to, but executing it (James 1:22). I've definitely been guilty of this. And that's one of the reasons why I love missions trips. Because I think missions put you in a situation where you have to be a doer. You can't just sit behind the scenes when you're on the field. 2 Timothy 2:15, "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth."

One of my favorite quotes is "Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do."-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. And it's so true! If you've read any of my blogs you know that I tend to think out loud a lot. And part of that is asking questions like, "How would my motivation change if I became a servant?" or "What if I just decided to wait patiently on the Lord?" But these questions and self- reflection are useless if they are not put in to action.

And that my friends constitutes repentance. You aren't just absolved from sin, but you resolve that you won't engage in it anymore. It's not enough to simply decide "Okay. I'm not going to drink anymore." No, you must act. You must make a conscious physical effort not to.

So, my friends, I cannot be shy for forever. I'm tired of the "what ifs" and the "how woulds". Its time to start doing, even if it means sometimes sticking out like a sore thumb.

"I don’t wanna go through the motions. I don’t wanna go one more day without Your all consuming passion inside of me. I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking, 'What if I had given everything?' Instead of going through the motions."