Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Confessions of a Repeating Blogger...

"There's nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." Have you ever had the occurrence where you feel you are learning a lesson that has already been taught to you? An instance where you've already been reminded that God is Sovereign and you thought that you had gotten past that and yet God still brings you back around and teaches you again? Well, if you have I'd like to say welcome to my world right now. I'm not really sure why, but it seems that everything I'm struggling with now I have severely struggled with before. It's the same story. The same issues, just in a different circumstance. And I begin to wonder, what's the point? I begin to grow weary at the thought of what I'm heading into again.

But then I realize, sometimes, we need to be reminded of things we've already learned. Sometimes we forget. Sometimes we don't grow in a straight line, exponentially up. Sometimes its more of a spiral. The point of this? For God to come along and remind us that He is Sovereign. No matter how many times you may face the same issue, you always learn something different from it. No matter how many lessons you learn, you always realize that God is sovereign through it.

Honestly, last year I struggled with loneliness, death, hopeless romanticism, confidence, self esteem, and idolatry. My issues this year? The exact same. And I grow weary at the thought. I'm tired. I've found myself saying, "What the heck God? I thought that bridge was crossed?" And He ever so gently reminds me, "Not yet Rachel. That bridge still has a few potholes that you skipped over that need to be fixed. But, Do not Fear. Your life right now is sporadic. Your life right now is crazy. Your life right now is random, ever-changing. But I am constant. I will not move, so don't you move away from me, even if you feel you can't find me. My love for you is never-ending." Psalm 121:3 "He will not let your foot slip-He who watches over you will not slumber"

"You know when I wake, when I rise, when I pray, when I curse You. And You love me the same. You know when I stumble and fall, and You're there through it all. The only unchanging one..."