I am a lover of all things music. Including rap, which I swear is how I learned to spell. Here's the confession, as embarrassing as it is, "Cyclone" is my pump up song. When I'm driving down the road at 4 in the morning, it is the only thing that can make this zombie come alive. Well, that and coffee. I thoroughly enjoy giving private karaoke performances on my fireplace and having private dance parties. You would think my realization of the fact that I can't sing would stop this, but it doesn't. Yes, it's true. There are few things I enjoy more than just letting loose. So most of the time, that's what I blast in the car. But today the most amazing thing happened.
Before going to the movies with a friend I stopped by to visit my grandmother's grave. It had been a while since I'd been there and I knew I wanted to get there before school started. Well, as you can imagine I wasn't feeling the happiest afterward. Going to a mortuary has that affect; it makes you think of everyone you know that has died recently, not just the one you were there to visit. So when "Rude Boy," another song I normally break out too, came on, I just turned the channel. Just didn't feel it at that moment. I was trying to hard not to cry, smear the make-up, and look like the bride of Chuckie. Well, unbeknownst to me I switched it to preset 3 which is 88.3 a local Christian station. And this my friends, is where the bafflement comes in.
Check out 88.3's playlist: "He is With You" By Madisa, "I Still Believe" by Jeremy Camp, and "Praise You in This Storm," by Casting Crowns. It was like a power of God speaking attack ha ha. If you've ever heard these songs you know what I'm talking about. After the first I was nearly in tears. After Jeremy Camp, all hope was lost. I pulled over and here's another embarrassing confession, just balled. So much for the make-up.
And now, I sit here in the parking lot writing the rough draft of this on the back of my resume'. I'm completely in awe of how powerful He is when God speaks. Here are the lines that touched me:
1. "He is with you when your faith is dead And you can't even get out of bed....And your house is still and your heart's a stone Cryin' God, what'd you do that for? He is with you."
2. "Yes he is with you when you've given up On ever finding your true love. Someone who feels like home. He is with you When nothing else is left And you take your final breath He is with you"
3."Scattered words and empty thoughts Seem to pour from my heart I've never felt so torn before Seems I don't know where to start But its now that I feel your grace fall like rain From every fingertip washing away my pain I still believe in your faithfulness I still believe in your truth I still believe in your holy word Even when I don't see, I still believe."
4. "Well the only place I can go is into your arms Where I throw to you my feeble prayers well in brokenness. I can see that this was your will for me Help me to know that you are near."
4. "I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining (Whoa, what better way to describe it!) as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you" and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm."
WOW! Yeah, it was like "Okay, that's not funny God!" Instantly I regretted ever wasting time on listening to Usher or anyone else. God knew, just what I needed. And He spoke as He often does to me, though lyrics. So I sat there just completely baffled for the longest time. There were no words. That's another lesson I've realized lately. I've found myself completely speechless. Because God knows my needs better than I do. But then I think its good to occasionally be left speechless, because then you're the most vulnerable to listen. Some of the verses and songs speak better the words of my angst than I ever could. Romans 8:26, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
Moses glimpsed this power that overcomes you, when God speaks. In Exodus three he experienced the burning bush. "When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!" And Moses said, "Here I am." "Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." (Exodus 3:4-5). God didn't speak to Moses until He has Moses' attention, which came via the bush. And I'm not one to say you have to listen to Christian music and only Christian music 24/7, not at all. But I began to wonder (if you read my blogs you find I do that a lot), in just 20 minutes, God used those songs to reveal so much of His truth to me. How much more would I get if I put away the country cd's, or the Breaking Benjamin, or the Sick puppies? Exodus 4:6 tells us that after God was done speaking Moses hid his face. He realized he was too unworthy to even come close to standing and gazing at the splendor of God. He realized he was so sinful, and his shame embarrassed him. Glad to know I'm not the only embarrassed confessor.
The good news, God is not limited to song. And He still gets to me plenty of other ways- believe me! But listening to those songs was a blessing. And I think I've missed out on some of those blessings. I mean come on, what do you get from Usher? ha ha. Perhaps a good dance party, but that's about it. And God's got ya covered there too. Psalm 30:11 "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy."
So realizing all of this, I can't help but laugh when the radio DJ comes on the air and says, "People ask us all the time, how do we know to play songs that deal with what they are going through? My only response is, we don't. It's a God thing."
You're right DJ. It's most definitely a God thing.
"I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see, because this broken road prepares Your will for me..."
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