Confessions of a Camp Love...

Well folks, it finally happened. I know, many of you have been wondering if it ever would. I myself have been thinking lately, "I'm 22. Any time now God!" But there is now a certain special someone in my life. I mean, besides God that is. See, it all started when I went to Fuge camp this summer. And I feel like a complete hypocrite. Having spent nearly every summer at camp I'm perfectly well aware of the camp romances that can happen. Y'all know exactly the ones I'm talking about. Boy sees girl. Girl sees boy. Boy and girl decide the "mature" thing to do would be to get in a relationship at camp. I mean, you're at church camp. God's gotta give that a thumbs up, right? Boy and girl spend all their free time together. By the end of the week boy is either leaving on a different bus and promising a long distance relationship or boy and girl have been in close quarters for too long and decided they really didn't enjoy each other's company that much. Happens every year. I think its the altitude. It does something to people's minds. I even warned all my youth girls about them. I asked them to really think about the true reason for why we came to camp. I challenged myself with it too. (What? A girl gets lonely sometimes. Camping is romantic. Sometimes you can't help it. I always thought It'd be cool to serve God co-counseling with my hubby) Anyway, I have to say though, that was not my initial intent. Farthest thing from my mind. But then....

GOTCHA! Ha ha maybe it is the lateness of the hour or perhaps I have officially snapped from trying to quit coffee cold turkey, but I am now patting myself on the back for pulling a fast one on you. Y'all thought I was gonna say I had found a certain special someone didn't you? Well, I did. Although it's more Matt Redman's lyrics that I am now in love with. I've never actually met the singer. Check 'em out.

"Standing on this mountaintop


Looking just how far we've come


Knowing that for every step


You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground


Seeing just how much You've done


Knowing every victory
Is Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way


But with joy our hearts can say


Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone


Never once did You leave us on our own


You are faithful, God, You are faithful."

Well, let me just say it was love at first stanza! We sang this during worship one night and I cannot describe how much it spoke to me. Perhaps its because I'm rapidly realizing I will very soon be closing the "college" chapter in my life, but I've done quite a bit of reflecting on the past lately. What better way to do this than reading over old journal entries? And ya know, it's a funny thing. Because sometimes, they're painful. You realize what a dark place you used to be in. And the things you struggled with still hurt. But it's also leaves me completely in awe. My mind has been entirely blown at how God has completely transformed my life. All those struggles, all those hard times, and I have seen just how He has used every single situation for good. I've seen how much its stretched me. Not to the point that I tear and fall apart, but just to the point of growth. And it makes me laugh because when you look back at your life and you realize you can see how God was in every situation it kind of feels like someone just WHAM! hit you. Never once did we ever walk alone. Even though a lot of times, it felt that way.

Looking back, my college years did not turn out the way I wanted them too. And I cannot say with enough enthusiam that I am so glad they didn't. Had I had my way, I would have been in Hawaii, swimming with dolphins and sun-tanning on the beach. Long Beach was honestly my last choice. Don't believe me ask my mother. She can atest to all the crying fits I gave. Hey, I never said I was mature at 18. But now I can't imagine being anywhere else. I sit back and I think, "Wow. if I had never come to Long Beach I never would have met the amazing people that I know. I never would have made lasting friendships that impacted my life beyond words. I never would have had mentors that challenged and gave wisdom in my walk with God.  I never would have had a shark in my bath tub, rescued a sea lion, or any of the other cool experiences. I never would have gotten involved with Navigators. I probably wouldn't be much of a christian. I probably wouldn't be working with the youth over the summer back home. Omgosh, I never would have been in youth ministry!" These are blessings that I could never have planned, or had the wisdom to ask for. But my life without them seems so, I don't know, not my life.

And it gives me great joy too. Because I look back at old journals and I see answered prayers. I see God's speedy and easy resolutions to things that I thought took weeks to accomplish. I've seen even just in a few months how much my faith has strengthened. And its awesome! God's faithfulness is just, gah, it's blowing my mind right now! But it also convicts me.

This morning I was reading Exodus 18. And I gotta say, I was pretty irritated with the Israelites. I mean, just two chapters beforehand, Moses has parted the Red Sea. The Hebrews are trapped. Pharoh is on their heels. And God takes an entire body of water and splits it in two. Like cheesecake! And then, like any good christian, they dance in celebration of His deliverance (Ch. 17) And then BOOM two chapters later, they're whining and complaining saying, "If only we'd stayed in Egypt. At least there we had food." REALLY?! Your God just parted the Red Sea and destroyed Pharoh's entire army and you're whining about food?! Don't you think He knows you're hungry? I mean, I don't pretend to be the sharpest, but it seems to me that even the dullest crayon in the box would think, "You know. I bet if God parted the Red Sea He can also give us food. That seems like a relatively easier job."  But then I find myself wearing those soggy, wet, Israel shoes. Can I honestly stand here with proof of God's goodness and direction in the past and doubt that He's not going to lead me to the best in the future? Oh ye of little faith...

"Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" (Luke 12:22-26)