Confessions of a Dazzled Dame...

So, I feel really lame writing this because I'm in Lake Tahoe and I'm sitting in my hotel room writing a blog. But I couldn't resist! Today my family and I went to the lake. And unfortunately because it was freezing and raining we couldn't go in. So, being the aspiring amateur photographer that I am I whipped out my little camera and caught some shots.

But it wasn't until after I was done staring at the little 1 by 2 inch screen of my camera that I got to take in the lake's beauty. And WOW. It was breathtakingly GORGEOUS. I mean literally jaw dropping beauty. And it got me thinking. This was the most beautiful thing I could imagine, but it is nothing compared to how beautiful God is. And just thinking about it puts me in a state of absolute awe.

It was then that I realized, I needed Lake Tahoe. I used this family vacation as an escape. A chance to get away and just relax. But more than the simply enjoying spending time with my family and getting away from the stresses of everyday life I needed to be awed. We have beauty all around us, and we take it for granted so many times.

The earth and how it got here is the work of a craftsman. In it bears intelligence, purpose, goodness, and power. Just look at the power of thunder, or of the ocean.

When you look at the ocean you cannot deny the existence of a Creator. But the beauty and power of the ocean is only the most minisculed, tiniest fragment compared to the majesty of God. The creatures in it speak intricately of the creativity and beauty of their maker. And that is why I LOVE my major :).

But God's creation and beauty extends far beyond nature. We are image bearers. And as such we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). The human body is the most complex and unique organism in the world. And that complexity speaks volumes of the mind of our maker. Every single life matters. And how you treat that life is in part how you treat the Artist.

If you wanted to hurt an artist you'd defect their art. How many times have we done that? But if you insult the creation, you insult the Creator. James 3:9-10 warns us about this, "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be."

And as the creation, it is our job to point to Christ. To treat everyone as if they are redeemable. We are also called to have a child-like faith Matthew 18:3. This does not mean to stay an immature baby christian forever. But rather, to be awestruck at the wonder and splendor of God. I remember when I would go to the Disney store when I was little. I was so amazed by all the princess Jasmine stuff. My jaw was entirely floored at the simplest little things. Eating lunch at Taco Bell with mom was a huge deal. Think about the stuff we would bring in to show-and-tell. Now they are just little trinkets we would probably through away.

We have to fight from being taken by the work of our own hands in order to stand in awe. We have to fight our own pride in order to stand in absolute amazement. Being in a place like Lake Tahoe and living in Long Beach it's not too hard to do sometimes. But when was the last time you stood in awe of the beauty both inside and out and the intricacy of design of someone that you didn't care too much for?

Confessions of a Shattered Pot...

So the strangest thing happened when I was packing to come back home a week ago. My little plant which had been growing so good, mysteriously died. After emptying out the remains I headed back upstairs to my dorm room when I noticed a small crack. I then knew I had to be extra careful or the entire pot would cave and shatter. Just the tiniest bit of my power and I could entirely ruin it.

God's holiness ruins us! When we finally grasp how holy and majestic He is we realize how broken, selfish, and prideful we are. And it destroys us! This happened to Isaiah. If you look at Isaiah 5 starting in verse 8 the entire rest of the chapter he is saying "Woe to you." Meaning, great distress and sorrow will be upon you if you do these things. But in Chapter 6 all of that changes. He sees the Lord seated on the throne. He sees the cherubim crying out "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is filled with His glory." And all of a sudden his attitude changes to "Woe is me."

God's majesty and holiness swamp our petty selfishness and our pride is shattered. It was when He saw a glimpse of the Power, Holiness, and Majesty of God that Isaiah was completely ruined. It was then that He began to understand his own depravity. It was then that he cried out that he was a man of unclean lips. And what happened? A seraph touched his lips with a burning coal. Ouch. No thank you. But that's how God heals us sometimes. When a would is infected a doctor may stop the infection by cauterizing the wound. He takes a red hot tool and sears it, burning away the rotten flesh and leaving only what can heal.

So, where do you stand now that you are completely shattered? You are made new. And you are most importantly forgiven. Sometimes God has to keep molding you and breaking you. I know there are times when He says, "Ok Rachel. You're looking good. Oops wait. Nope, you strayed. Got to start over." *insert hammer* So what is the response to someone who has had the world shattering experience? Well, Look what Isaiah did. Isaiah 6:8 "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here I am. Send me!'"

Something else happens when we go from ruined to forgiven; we develop and unquenchable thirst for God. Psalm 63:1 "Oh God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water."

For some, an encounter with God produces no change in who we are and how we live. For others, God might collide with us, and it changes us temporarily. However, for some of us, a head-on collision with the living, holy God will ruin us-alter us forever. And then here's the last call. Leviticus 11:45 "For I am the LORD who brings you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God. You shall therefore be holy, for I am holy." Oh. Snap.

Confessions of an Empty Playlist...

It should be no secret, I am a hopeless hopeless romantic. Love is always on my mind, most of the time questioning if I'll ever find it. But what I have found is that when my mind is focused on God, I don't worry about finding love. And I was also forced to ask, what if God was on my mind as much as love is? But more importantly, just how much of my life does my idol consume? Well, being the little science geek that I am I decided to conduct an experiment. So I created a playlist, entitled it "experiment", and got to work.

I started with my itunes library being the music lover that I am. The lyrics just speak to me. I have 2031 songs excluding musical/movie soundtracks. That's 10.39GB and enough to last me for 5.2 days. No, I did not calculate that. It tells you at the bottom of the screen. I do have a life. Anyway, I separated any song that made me think about love (whether finding it, loosing it, or just not having it) from just your average ones. Here's what I found:

First, love is so much on my mind that some songs like Adele's "Chasing Pavements" can sometimes make me think of it, but when you really look at what the song is about has nothing to do with it. These I also grouped with the love songs.

Second, I then took out all the songs about death. And there were quite a few. I realized that during those dark days death had been on my mind a lot as well. Music just seemed to help me deal with loosing everyone I had. That lost 106 songs.

Third, After I went through and deleted all the songs that made me think of love I only had 541 left. That's shocking. This 541 included anything from country to hip/hop dance party music to hard rock. And Trace Adkins to Usher and BEP to Jack Johnson to Breaking Benjamin and Yellowcard. Oh and some Beach boys in there too ha ha. Oh and let's not forget Glee. Wow, even some Lady Gaga, LMFAO, and Korn. I didn't know I was a Korn fan :/. And yes, I am a Nickelback and Pussycat Dolls fan. And of course my main man, Neil Diamond (say what you will, but he inspired my love of music) Now, when you do the math after calculating what I had left after I removed the songs about death it works out to about 77%.

Wow 77% of my music is love songs. That's shocking! But I think there lies my problem. Still I was not satisfied. I deleted every non christian song and found I had only 255 left. That's only 12.5%! I couldn't even find my christian songs until I had deleted every thing else.
And sometimes that's how God finally gets through to us. He has to peel away everything else that takes our attention away. And it hurts. But He MUST strip away the bad. But we are called to love God not only with our hearts and soul, but with our minds as well (Matthew 22:37). Our thoughts should be just as honoring as our words. And both should reflect a pure heart.

I love music. And sometimes I know that's how God speaks to me. So it only seemed fitting as I was sitting there thinking about my idol of falling in love and how it occupies my thoughts to an unhealthy degree that "By Your Side" by 10th Avenue North came on. And wow, way to convict God!

"Why are you looking for love? Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?"

Confessions of Refined Silver...

Ok so this confession I had no part in writing. But I heard this story a few days ago and I absolutely loved it! So, I decided to share it.

"Zec 13:9 “And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”

Malachi 3:3 says: “He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver…”

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She diddn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to ho ld the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.”

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?” He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it.”

Confessions of a Kiddie Pool Floatie Wearer...

So my Sunday school lesson this week came from 1 Samuel 28. If you've never read it, it's the story of Saul and the Witch of Endor and how he talks to Samuel who's already dead. Anyway, lesson aside I was entirely amazed that I had never even heard of this story before. Then all of a sudden I felt my life flash before my eyes. I saw myself as an AWANA kids champ. Growing up in church and a christian school all of my life kind of made me a little ignorant. I also tended to focus my Bible reading on the New Testament. And I found myself asking, "When was the last time I really dug in to the Bible?"

I've been neglecting the most important defense tool I have. God's word is the sword of the spirit (Ephesians 6:17) and I hardly know my weapon. You're not going to last very long in your spiritual warfare if you don't know what you're doing. That's how Jesus combated Satan when He was tempted in the desert (Matthew 4) So many times I look up verses in the Bible based on topics. I've had to do this especially with my blog, but there are tons of cool stories in there too. So many words of wisdom are shared through them. I don't think I've ever read anything at all from the book of Zephaniah, Joel, Amos, or even Habakkuk. And what's worse, I've gone backwards. I used to know the books of the Bible in order. And now I find myself using a table of contents occasionally. I have found myself saying I used to know the answer to that question. Or I'll hear something like "Barnabus means son of encouragement" and I remember a time when I remembered stuff like that. The Word has become a stranger instead of my manuel for life.

So my friends, I think it's time for this kiddie pool floatie wearer to get out of the kiddie pool. My Bible reading has been too shallow for too long. A few years ago I started reading the Bible all the way through, but I only made it to 1 Chronicles. That's like taking only one bite of an oreo. Who does that?! And you know what? I think I'm even going to pull the floaties off on this one. I'm heading to the big kids pool and going straight for the deep end. I'm diving in!

Confessions of a Runway Bride...

There I was listening to my ipod when Eddie Carey's "If I Start to Cry" came on. Now, despite how depressing that song actually is I love it. Why? Because of the line "If I start to cry I may not stop. Love runs dry, I run off." Being the hopeless romantic that I am I thought "Oh how romantic. She becomes a run away bride and he has to go get her." I love those movie scenes where the guy is running to the airport to try to stop her plane. And I know that that's how I'd be if my love ran dry. But then I got thinking. It works for movies, but this is not a good philosophy to live by. Because you can't outrun your problems for forever.

Long Beach was my escape. I couldn't wait to get out and leave my old life behind. It wasn't that I hated my old life- in fact I quite enjoyed it- I just needed to get away. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. That's why we take vacations. But I realized I was using Long Beach to deal with my problems instead of facing them. When I left Bakersfield, I felt like I was leaving the past behind. I got over the things and the people that had hurt me not because I forgave them, but simply because I separated myself from them. I never looked back in the rearview mirror because I believed that just leaving them behind would make them disappear. But it didn't.

I also became disillusioned. It seemed that everything bad had been in Bakersfield. It was almost as if I were untouchable in Long Beach. Sure there was the average every day school stresses, but nothing major. Not in my Long Beach no way! But then when my grandma died the problems came over the grapevine. Long Beach wasn't a safe place anymore.
God is that safe place we can run to, but He won't just let us hide either. Instead He gives us the courage to face our problems head on. Because through Him we can do all things. Remember that verse? And I realized it's time for me to stop being a runaway bride.

But even Paul one of the most courageous men in all of history struggled with courage. "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death." Philippians 1:20.

But no matter what situation he was in, whether it be prison or paradise, Paul knew one thing. That he wasn't alone. Everything was going to work out just fine because God has his back. Even if it wasn't the way Paul wanted, it was going to be okay. Because God's glory would still shine through. Psalm 118:6 "The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

So my fellow runaway brides, stop trying to run in heels. Go back to your bridegroom. He will help you. Face your problems head on. Because you won't be facing them alone. John 10:28 "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." I know in context Jesus is talking about salvation. But still I picture a battlefield when I read this. And we are getting our butts kicked. Satan has thrown everything he can at us and then asks "Do you still wish to fight? You're alone Rachel. You and I both know that you'll never win. You have no army. You don't even know who you are anymore." And then Christ stands up, pounds Satan's face, dusts me off, and says, "She's MINE. And you will never take her from my hand. I will never leave her nor forsake her."

"And if our God is for us, than who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, that what could stand against?"

So suck it Satan!

Confessions of a Non-Tofu Tester...

Well it was coming time for dinner again and my roommate Sonia and I were starving. So, we headed to the dining hall to fill up. But when we got there we discovered all they had was BBQ tofu and chicken which didn't look all that appetizing. Me, being the considering vegetarian that I am, instantly got all excited saying, "Yay, they have tofu. I love tofu!" But then she followed up with "Have you actually ever eaten it?" No I have not. So then Sonia asked, "Well then how do you know if you've never tasted it?" My actual response was, "Because all vegetarians have to love tofu." It was all I could think of and it sounded so ridiculous. But then it hit me. We do the same in our Christian walks.

If I say I love tofu than you would have expected me to have eaten it. If we say we love God, then they expect us to prove it. That our actions demonstrate it. And sometimes they don't. Sometimes we say we love it, take a bite, and spit it in our napkin. To say you love God, but you don't follow Him or obey Him is to say you love tofu, but you've never actually tried it. And that's what the world catches us on. Tofu is still tofu no matter if we taste it or not. God's law is still absolute truth no matter if we follow it or not. But the world sees us, and what we do. God's truth is perfect, WE discredit it. Romans 2:23-24 "You who brag about the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of YOU."

And maybe we do walk the walk for a little bit, but then we sink. Like when Peter walked on water or when he denied Christ three times. We look at Judas and say, how could he have ever done that? But we do the same exact thing. When you turn yourself to sin, you turn your back on God. God is holy and He hates sin because it kills us.

Others may be fooled, but God is not. He knows and detects us Isaiah 29:15-16, "Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the LORD, who do their work in darkness and think, 'Who sees us? Who will know?' You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'He did not make me'? Can the pot say of the potter, 'He knows nothing'?" This has serious consequences. If we continue to live as hypocrites we will ruin ourselves. Sin will consume us- Job 15:34, "For the company of the godless will be barren, and fire will consume the tents of those who love bribes." Jeremiah 42:22, "So now, be sure of this: You will die by the sword, famine and plague in the place where you want to go to settle." Pretty harsh words.

And worse, it doesn't just affect us. Look at Revelation 3:15-16. "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." This struck home big time when God says he wished we would be one or the other. He would rather us be cold atheists than Christians that don't live up to our name. Why? Because we discredit it. You can't use the "do as I say not as I do" approach. It doesn't work! We get on our preachy high horse sometimes, but we need to realize that we are not doing God any favors by calling ourselves christians.

Think about the world. Think about the way in which they perceive christians. This is a huge area where they catch us on. In fact they're looking for it. They are constantly searching for ways to justify their rebellion against God. And they do it by saying, "Hey, you live the exact same way I do." Why? Because honestly I think it's the only thing that makes it so they can live with themselves. Misery loves company. Getting a chance to talk to some of my non christian friends this year has really opened my eyes. And all though it be true, I hate the bumper sticker that says "I'm not perfect, just forgiven." Because it sounds like an excuse. We use God as our excuse to continue on living. But this isn't a relationship at all. It breaks the heart of God. Talk about feeling taken advantage of! Sinners are sinners. We are not going to get away with more because we are christians.

These are serious allegations. But the redemption comes as it always does through grace. When we realize that we are hypocrites we can ask God to change us so that our heart matches our actions. And He will just as He promised. So my fellow non-tofu testers, remember Ezekial 36:26, "And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."

Confessions of a Steamed Artichoke...

One thing has become exceedingly apparent in the past couple of weeks. I am a green girl. And no, this is not green as in the environmentally conscious type- although I did hug a tree last week. This is in the expression "green with envy." And lately I've been so green I'm practically an artichoke. And because I've been so jealous, it has made me frustrated and discontented. Hence the artichoke is steamed.

But one thing I realized is that when we do get jealous, not only does it show we are discontent, but it also shows that we are still very much being controlled by our own selfish desires. 1 Corinthians 3:3 really hit home on this point. "You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?"

And being jealous isn't just harmful to you, but to every relationship you have. First, when you compare yourselves to others it diminishes you're sense of who you are. Second, it harms our relationships by keeping us from celebrating other's gifts and abilities.

But jealousy can also have another definition. The Bible says that God is a jealous God. Jealousy is not a very attractive characteristic especially for a perfect Almighty God. The word "jealous" sounds as if one's self-control has been lost, however we know this isn't the case with the Almighty God.The best way I've heard this question explained was done using a dating relationship illustration. There are two types of jealousy: an insecure/sinful jealousy and a secure/righteous jealousy.

If a man who is in a relationship gets upset and angry anytime his girlfriend's phone rings because he wonders who might be calling, or if he doesn't want his girl talking to any other male because he's afraid of the thought of her "getting away" then that would be considered an insecure/jealousy. This type of jealousy doesn't describe our God.

However if that man was married to a woman and noticed another man coming and purposely deceiving her in order to steal her from the husband, then this man has every right to be jealous for HIS wife.

What differentiates the two? One is rooted in an insecurity and one is the defense of what is rightfully his.He is not jealous OF me as we get jealous of others, but rather FOR me. Why? Because we are his, and he doesn't want someone coming in and deceitfully stealing our affections. God doesn't take lightly the relationship he has between Himself and man. Because he has invested infinitely more than we can imagine into this relationship- His Son!

So my fellow steamed artichokes. It's time to finally surrender. Put aside all the selfish desires that we have deceived ourselves into thinking we already surrendered. Because the fact is, we haven't. If you still get jealous over it you have haven't given it up yet. Do not be jealous of anyone, but rather for a relationship further with Christ. And recognize that those people you slander because you are jealous of them are God's image bearers. They are just as much intricately and intelligently designed as you. James 3:10 You cannot insult the creation and praise the Creator.

"To live for Christ I first must die to all the rivals in my life. Only You can satisfy."

Confessions of a Poopy Journal...

So yesterday I was sitting at the beach and journaling. Now, the whole concept of a prayer journal has been kind of new to me this semester. But through it I am beginning to learn what it means to be praying continually. (1Thess. 5:17). And you know what? I love it. There are so many times I have little prayers that I just ramble off or write down and forget. But then I find myself going back and reading and seeing the fulfillment of that prayer. It has helped me to realize that God is intricately involved in EVERY aspect of our lives. And that He is constantly teaching us.

But anyway, back to the story. After finishing a portion I decided to take a stroll along the beach for a while. And as I was walking back- the wind blowing my hair like in a movie and the cool water splashing on my legs- I saw it. One single little pigeon was on my blanket. Now, I grew up around birds, having a dove cage in our backyard, so I thought nothing of it. But then the little thing did something deliberately devious. It waddled/hopped/flew over right on top of my journal and pooped. I was outraged! Ha ha actually no, I laughed. Yet another reason God has a sense of humor. But anyways, as I was washing it off (ew) I quietly joked that maybe God didn't like my prayer that morning. But then it hit me. I have had a poopy prayer life.

Because prayer isn''t just about petition to God. It isn't just about talking to Him. Prayer is a conversation. And when you have a conversation with someone you apply the principle of turn taking. You speak and then you listen. And I realized I am a very bad listener. So many times I've been like "God, I know you will get me through this because you are good, but help me. I'm struggling." or "God, help her/him. Thank you for my friends. Guard their hearts Lord."A lot of whining basically. But then after that I hang up. It's like ordering a cheeseburger and not sticking around for them to ask if you want fries with that. It doesn't work. God doesn't always answer prayer right away. But I think sometimes we miss it when He does because we disconnect too soon.

So why do we cut Him off? Sometimes I think it's because we really don't want His will at all. We pray for God to help us, but to help us in our way. But His ways are not our ways. His will is not our will. And in this scenario God becomes the servant instead of the master. We diminish Him to our will and fail to recognize how majestic He is. And sometimes we cut Him off because He's already told us the answer. God is never changing. He's already told us, but we somehow think He's going to change His mind. And then when we realize He's not, we get out.

But prayer is so much more important than this. It is your lifeline. AND THE WAY IN WHICH YOU PRAY MODELS YOUR INTIMACY WITH THE ONE YOU PRAY TO! If you have a shallow prayer life, than your relationship isn't going to be all that deep either.

Well after realizing this I was feeling pretty down. So, I decided to drown all my sorrows at the Coldstone not too far away, but as I was getting out my money a little card fell out. I remember getting this card sometime in high school, but I just shoved it in my wallet right behind the Target and Starbucks gift cards. So I took a second look. Now hopefully my prayer life will get much more intimate than this acronym in time, but this is a good starting point. Here's what was on the card:

"A.C.T. U.P. Prayer Pathway as modeled from Jesus' prayer in Matthew 6:9-13.

A: Adore God- "Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you." Pslam 63:3

C: Confession- "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

T: Tell God Your Needs- "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

U: Uplift Others-"I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone--" 1 Timothy 2:1

P: Praise God- "Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name." Psalm 100:4"

Act up. Don't be another poopy journal.

Confessions of an Unsatisfied Dictionary User...

Recently I was challenged to research a fruit of the spirit. I knew everyone would do love, peace, patience, kindness, etc. So, I decided to do goodness. Mostly because I feel sorry for the underdog. But then I realized, no one ever talks about goodness. In fact, it's the one fruit of the spirit I haven't heard a sermon on. I mean, I've heard sermons on how God is good, but not the fruit of goodness.

So many times in our world goodness is overlooked. We like the "bad" reputation. There is a slight empowerment from doing devious things. But to be truly good means to abstain from the power that sin gives in recognition that God's is infinately greater. It's like the song "Sin has lost it's power, death has lost its sting," BECAUSE "From the grave you've risen, victoriously." Therefore to be practicing goodness means to constantly be fighting the hold sin has on us.

But what does it mean biblically to be good? I didn't know exactly. So I followed one of my many mottos that has gotten me through school: When it doubt- google. So I ditched my Comm class (probably not a good thing in the long run) and headed to the library. And here's what I found. According to dictionary.com Goodness is...
1. The state or quality of being good. (I was always told not to use the word in the definition. How did Webster get away with it?)
2. Moral excellence
3. Kindly feeling
4. Essence of strength
5. A Euphemism for God.

Well, this left something to be desired to so I looked up good. Basically the same thing added the extra definition of being competetent. What a fail. Anyway, I continued on my search, deciding to do topical biblical studies on the subject. And finally, I was able to pull about three or four together. Here's what I found:

Goodness is righteousness. Ephesians 5:8-9 "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)" Goodness is having a heart of righteousness and living a life that is true and dedicated to the source of truth. That source of truth is God.

Goodness is selfless and from the heart. In Mark twelve Jesus gives the parable of the widow's offering. She gave everything she had. Being good is not just about giving money, but giving from the heart. Your heart has to match. Goodness takes effort to cultivate.

Goodness is holiness. 2 Peter 3:13-15. Ephesians 5:9 Goodness means to do your best to be without sin. Also look at 2 Peter 1:5-7 "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love." Goodness is the building block of our faith!

Goodness is obedience. Only God has the supreme authority to define what is good and what is evil. Goodness is the very essence of God's nature. Romans 2:4 says it leads us to repentence Badness comes naturally. From the minute we are born we are doomed to sin. Romans 8:7 "the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so." Matthew 7:21 says that "he who does the will of my father in heaven" will enter the kingdom of heaven. Notice, not our will, but God's. Therefore we are called to submit to God's will even though we are naturally hostile to it.

Goodness is a transformation. Knowing that we are inherently bad our heart must be transformed. 3 John 1:11 "Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God." The only way we can imitate God is if He is actively and intimately involved in our lives. But to do that we must seek Him. To seek Him means to no longer seek the world. To no longer seek the world means to be transformed by it.

Finally, goodness is an action. Matthew 7:17-20 and John 15:8 call us to bear fruit. James 1:22 says be doers of the Word. Siimply abstaining from evil and doing nothing is not enough. Our heart should match our actions.

Not bad Google. Not bad...

Confessions of a Dieting Bugles Eater...

The other day I was sitting in German watching music videos (because that’s what we do ha ha) when I whipped out and started munching on a bag of Bugles I had just bought at Beach Hut. It had been so long since I had delighted in the cornucopia shaped treat.

Anyway, as I was sitting there bobbing my head to the music and munching away I had a sense of nostalgia. I remember eating Bugles as a kid and putting them on my fingers pretending I was a witch. Don’t judge me I know y’all did it too! Anyway, then a thought occurred to me- what if I did that now? What would people say? Well at first I think they would laugh. Because it would be rather funny and they’d embrace their nostalgia and possibly join me. But if I kept doing it in all seriousness, it wouldn’t be funny anymore. Then, it would just be seen as immature. And I realized something that day; we are the same way in our spiritual lives.

Sometimes you need to just grow up spiritually. We mature in our physical lives. As a nineteen year old girl I no longer eat baby food. I no longer play with barbies or dress up. I can count higher than my fingers and toes combined. And I’m officially potty trained. If you saw me seriously caring around a barbie doll like I was a little girl, you would think there was something wrong with me. But we do this in our spiritual lives all the time. How long have I been a baby Christian? Too long!

But here’s the problem, when we stay baby infants it doesn’t just hurt us. True we don’t grow spiritually and we don’t minister like we ought, but those looking in on us don’t grow either. My pastor back home once said intimacy with God is a caught action, not a taught action. If we want people to spiritually grow (and we should) then we need to model that ourselves.

Hebrews 5:11-14 “We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”

The transition from milk to meat should be a natural one for most Christians. We should find ourselves wanting to read the Bible more often, to pray more frequently, to reach out in loving community as Christ teaches us. And, as the author of Hebrews intimates, we should naturally begin teaching others who are less spiritually mature rather than constantly needing to be fed ourselves. Now this does not mean everyone should become a Sunday school teacher. If we all did we would have no class to teach. But you don’t even have to use your words. Your actions speak louder. I have talked to non-Christian friends and they have said they can sometimes tell when a person is a Christian just by the way they conduct themselves. You lead by example type of thing.

And maybe you’re not a spiritual baby anymore. Maybe you’re more of a hamburger type of person. But there is still always room for improvement. Because I’m not a steak yet. And sometimes it’s hard to know how to grow. So, when in doubt- google. And that’s what I did. Here’s what I found:

“Five key areas are essential to the development of spiritual maturity:

First, biblical knowledge. No verse better sums up the reason we need to know Scripture than II Timothy 3:16: "All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." Based upon that verse, we find our charge as Christians in II Timothy 2:15: "Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, handling accurately the word of truth."

Second, godly character. In chapters such as Matthew 5-7, I Corinthians 13, and Romans 12, we find entire dissertations on the nature of a godly life. Yet Galatians 5:22-23 captures the whole: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."

Third, sanctified mind. As we work out our salvation, it touches all parts of us, and the mind is key. Colossians 3:2 states simply, "Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth." And Romans 12:2 exhorts us to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

Fourth, spiritual discernment. In I Thessalonians 5:21-22, we find these closing words: "Examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil." And again in Hebrews 5:14, we find spiritual maturity linked to discernment: "But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil."

Fifth, willing obedience. Jesus stated simply in John 14:15, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments."

And here’s another problem with Bugles. They’re junk food. Sure they satisfy for the moment, but then I’m starving again. No nutritional value whatsoever. But why are we still eating Bugles when there is chicken cordon bleu across the table? You get the analogy.

So, whether it be strained peas or McD’s (he he I rhymed) we need to be constantly feeding ourselves and growing. Growing in our witness, growing in our passion, and growing in our intimacy. It’s guaranteed, a relationship with Christ is the best meal you could ever have. A banquet beyond belief. So why are we dieting? Why settle for mashed squash?

Confessions of a Germaphobe...

Today was a tragic day. There I was sitting in the library trying to eat my croissant. I had just touched the keyboards and decided hand sanitizer was a must. It’s one of those things you always have to have. If I could I would carry around a can of Lysol just to spray it on all the sick people. Anyway, there I was sitting with germy keyboard hands, without my much needed tool. I couldn’t eat my croissant. I couldn’t enjoy it or share it because I was ill-equipped.

And then it hit me, we do the same thing in our evangelism. We don’t study the scriptures, we don’t pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). We don’t walk a straight and narrow path some times. We are called to be the salt of the earth. Salt preserves and so must we preserve. Preserve what? Morals, integrity, Compassion, Mercy, the list goes on. Intimacy with God is a caught thing, not a taught thing. If I want to teach someone to be more intimate with Christ, or to even have a relationship with Him altogether sticking someone in a classroom and filling their head will tons of knowledge about God is not going to do them any good. We have to model it. They see us being more intimate and so they long for it too.

And then there’s another issue. Sometimes we don’t want to share our croissant. Sometimes we don’t want to share our faith. We feel ashamed because we know we haven’t been the best examples. We fear rejection. We come up with a million excuses to justify it. I know I fear it. I know the truth, but so many times choose to omit that part out. But that’s the part that my lost friends need to hear the most. Fear of sharing the gospel is just as impairing as being a hypocrite. According to James 4:17 this is the Sin of Omission. I guess you could say in this situation the only positive thing is that God will get His glory, with or without your help.

God has us here to enjoy a bountiful life. They deserve it too. This croissant is too good not to share! But we have to have the right tools. When we follow the world we are impaired. We go in without hand sanitizer and change forever how they see our witness. This is the sin of commission aka hypocrisy. We are called to be the light. The rest of the world is in darkness. There is no in between. Why do we try to make one? Revelation 3:15-16 “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

The world has a lot of fears. They are starving and thirsty for purpose in utter depravity. Because think about it. Without the hope in Christ, this is a pretty scary place. Violence, murder, rape, deceit- not necessarily your perfect picnic in the park. It’s like a stinky, moldy sandwich. But when the world looks up at us in fear how are we going to help them if we’re impaired by our own fears? We must show them one who can satisfy all of those. Point to Christ. He is the Bread of Life (John 6:35).

You can’t be a germaphobe forever. Some days you’re just going to have to dive right in without the hand sanitizer. But don’t be afraid to share your croissant to a starving world. It’s the best thing that ever happened to you, so share it!

Confessions of a Busy Bee...

Ever heard the saying, "Live life to the fullest. There's plenty of time to sleep when you're dead."? I have. In fact, sometimes I live by it. And sure, there is nothing wrong with wanting to get out and enjoy being alive. I love being a busy bee. But even the worker bees takes time to dance a little.

And don't think this just happens with school and friends. It can happen with church stuff too. The other day I was stopped and asked if I wanted to join a bible study. I declined because I said I already had one pretty much every day of the week that I go to. And that was when it hit me. Now, I love my bible studies, but sometimes I go to them at the expense of my quiet time. I find myself saying, "Sorry God. I don't have time to write in my prayer journal, I have to go to Bible study." This is where some of us go wrong. We become so wrapped up in the things of God that we forget Him entirely. We become so consumed in knowing about Him that we fail to try to get to know Him more.

And then there are those times when it it school and friends and work etc. And I think we get so wrapped up in our stresses that we forget God is there too. We forget that we don't have to worry about getting everything done. We don't have to worry about our future, because He knows no time limits. God's already got our future worked out. And while there are still those stresses that we must focus on today it is way less overwhelming to realize that we don't have to worry about tomorrow's anxieties until it's tomorrow. Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." God, You are a genius! I don't know how He could have

put that any more perfectly.

In such a hectic world it can often seem excruciatingly difficult to find peace. Those are the times we should most look for God. Because He is peace. So my fellow college students, when the coffee runs out and the all nighters go wrong find rest in Christ. Don't sacrifice Him for your stuff. Take time to do your quiet time. Don't loose the greatest thing! Don't worry about your life. He's got it all worked out and is dealing with it in ways we can't even imagine. Remember Psalm 23:2-3 "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters; he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." My mind feels better already.