Confessions of a Repeating Blogger...

"There's nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." Have you ever had the occurrence where you feel you are learning a lesson that has already been taught to you? An instance where you've already been reminded that God is Sovereign and you thought that you had gotten past that and yet God still brings you back around and teaches you again? Well, if you have I'd like to say welcome to my world right now. I'm not really sure why, but it seems that everything I'm struggling with now I have severely struggled with before. It's the same story. The same issues, just in a different circumstance. And I begin to wonder, what's the point? I begin to grow weary at the thought of what I'm heading into again.

But then I realize, sometimes, we need to be reminded of things we've already learned. Sometimes we forget. Sometimes we don't grow in a straight line, exponentially up. Sometimes its more of a spiral. The point of this? For God to come along and remind us that He is Sovereign. No matter how many times you may face the same issue, you always learn something different from it. No matter how many lessons you learn, you always realize that God is sovereign through it.

Honestly, last year I struggled with loneliness, death, hopeless romanticism, confidence, self esteem, and idolatry. My issues this year? The exact same. And I grow weary at the thought. I'm tired. I've found myself saying, "What the heck God? I thought that bridge was crossed?" And He ever so gently reminds me, "Not yet Rachel. That bridge still has a few potholes that you skipped over that need to be fixed. But, Do not Fear. Your life right now is sporadic. Your life right now is crazy. Your life right now is random, ever-changing. But I am constant. I will not move, so don't you move away from me, even if you feel you can't find me. My love for you is never-ending." Psalm 121:3 "He will not let your foot slip-He who watches over you will not slumber"

"You know when I wake, when I rise, when I pray, when I curse You. And You love me the same. You know when I stumble and fall, and You're there through it all. The only unchanging one..."

Confessions of a Learned Lesson...

If there's one thing I have learned from my Theatre 113 class it's that sometimes you just need to suck it up and do it! Sometimes you just have to scream your guts out in public and shut the critic up. I hate those excercises. But being in an intro to acting class I find myself needing to scream, cry, stomp, rage, panic, sob, laugh uncontrollably, and even potentially die on stage. But the most curious thing has been to see what happens after you do those things. Much to my surprise, I actually feel better. In fact, it pretty much makes me want to dance straight up. Just ask my suitemates. It's embarrassing, but we actually have a dance to "Toot it and Boot it." The ciritc inside the mind is finally shut up. This same critic tells me I shouldn't do those things. That it's not natural or sensible.

I think the same thing happens sometimes in the department of tithing. It's really hard to start, especially if you're in debt. And there is that critic in your mind that goes, "I can't do this. I'm already in debt. How will I feed myself?" or "I work so hard for my money and the government already takes half of it. Why can't I just have a little for myself?" It's almost painful to think of dropping half your check in the offering plate.

But tithing is an act of obedience. It wasn't just designed forthe people in Leviticus. And I here so many times people say, "Well I tithe with my time." Sorry, that doesn't cut it for me. It's laid out strict and clear in Leviticus. Tithing is ten percent of all your wages. When you start earning hours instead of dollars than we shall talk about tithing with your time.

But here's the thing. What was I so afraid of before? Did I really not trust in God enough to provide? Was I really selfish enough to try to keep what was never mine, mine? It feels good to tithe. It doesn't feel natural being a by nature selfish human. But the same is true of giving.

We live in a world that is take, take, take. Don't believe me, take a trip to any store. We've learned it from the day of womb emergence. You will hear two year olds now a days with a vocabulary of "No. Mommy. Daddy." and "Gimme" Being generous is what sets us apart as Christians. Having motives of love and not expecting anything in return is what distinguishes us.

So here's the challenge I place on myself as well. Whomever you love, love them 100%. Whatever you do, do it 100%. Whatever you give, give it 100%. Give it with a heart of gratitude. Give it with Joy. Give it with Trust. Our God deserves nothing less.

Confessions of an Inspired Speaker...

The other day I came across this video on facebook, and it truly inspired me. I have always known and believed that abortion was wrong. I've made a decision that I will never vote for a Presidential candidate if he is not pro-life. I don't know, maybe it's just being adopted. Maybe it's the chance that I could have possibly been aborted. Anyway, I cam across this video of this girl speaking out against abortion and it truly riled me up, but in a good way.

Here's why I loved it. 1) Her story. She survived the abortion and was delivered alive. That right there is a testament that the "fetus" as the world has so nonchalantly named it, is living. 2) The eyes through which she saw herself. She was talking about how when she was younger her birth mother and foster parents really could care less about her. In fact, they wanted to leave her behind in a dumpster somewhere. That's not the most self-esteem boosting knowledge. But here's what got me. She said, "I don't care. I was put here for a reason. I'm God's girl! And you don't mess with God's girl!" Mmhmm, you know it! 3) At the end she just called it out like it is. She called out the men for not stepping up to the plate. She called out the congressmen for putting politics over values. She called out the women. This girl was laying it on like nobody's business. 4) As she was speaking it was like I could hear the foundations of the world's lie shattering. It was trembling and faltering in the presence of God. It reminded me of the power behind Joel 2:11, "The LORD thunders at the head of his army; his forces are beyond number, and mighty are those who obey his command..."

Well, I loved it! I have a soft spot for the rebel type- not sure why. And if you're going to be a rebel, be a rebel for Christ. This girl was not afraid of what they would do to her. She was not afraid of what they would say about her. She did not even take into consideration that she was preaching Christ in a public government building. She spoke truth with power and conviction. And she would NEVER back down! It was truly inspiring. In fact, I think I might just have a new hero.

Some day, I hope to be like this. Someday, I pray that God molds me into the woman where I don't sugar coat things. I don't play nicey nicey, I tell it like it is when it comes to God. I proclaim His truth with no regrets! And if I were to be boo'ed off the stage? Well, that would just put a smile on my face.I'd love to be a rebel with a cause. I'd love to be hated by the world, because that means that I wouldn't belong to it.(John 15:18)

I'm God's girl. And you don't mess with God's girl!

Acts 4:31, "After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly."

Confessions of a Non-Coincidence...

Here's something that I've really learned this week. God has quite a way of getting His point across. Something that I've been struggling with lately is ministering to my roommmates. And it basically breaks down to the fact that I still care so much about what the world thinks of me. But I don't know why I'm so afraid. My roommate is one of the sweetest people alive. And she's Catholic, so it's not like she's going to start yelling at me, call me and idiot, and tell me that God doesn't exist. And even if she did mock me, what's the big deal?

When i was reading in John this week I came across this verse: John 15:18-21, ""If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.'If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me." How convicting and shaming is that? Especially verse 19. It almost makes me want to be like, "Alright. Let's be hated. I'm okay with that." It's a call to be transformed.

Well, after discussing this with one of my Bible study leader's she brought up a good point. If you approach it as, "This is what I believe" than there's really nothing they can do about it. She also pointed out that I had to do this. It was an act of obedience. I had never thought of it that way before. By not ministering, I was acting in disobedience. And here I am trying to live for God!

Well, after the discussion with her I went to my Bible study later that night. The topic? Ministering to your roommate. I thought "how appropriate." But wait, there's more. This past weekend when i went to church the sermon was on ministering to the lost. I sat there in the car completely in awe of how pointed this was. Then yesterday, I came back to facebook only to find a video with someone interviewing CSULB students asking, "Who is Jesus?" Their answers broke my heart. Okay God, I can take a hint. These random occurrences are NOT in no way, shape, or form, coincidence.

Therefore, it is demanded that I obey. Christ said, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments" (John 14:15). It's as simple as that. And one of those commandments is love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind. Obedience is an action to show you love someone. it's as simple as that. I cannot 100% love God if I don't obey Him. I cannot obey Him if I don't do what He commands. And He has commanded, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:19-20)

Lord, give me the courage to be a light in such a dark world.

Confessions of a Double Parker...

The other day I saw one of the simplest, no big deal, yet most appalling things. I had made really good time on the freeway, so I arrived at Rock Harbor a whole 45 minutes too early. So, being the shy type I decided to journal in the car.

Well, as I was getting it on with God one of the associate pastors pulled up in his convertible and decided to back in. He did all kinds of pivoting maneuvers and finally ended up smack dab in the middle of 2 spaces. As he got out he gave a slight nod of satisfaction in knowing that his precious car would remain unscratched.

I couldn't believe my eyes! An associate pastor of a huge church already limited on space double parking?! Surely my eyes were deceiving me! But then my sense came to as I was watching the poor pregnant woman waddle in front of me who had been jipped out of her parking space. I realized I was appalled at this only because he was a pastor. If any other christian had done it, I would not have thought twice. I should have been appalled no matter what. He's not called to a higher moral standard because he's a pastor, but because he's a christian. The same standards that apply to him apply to me.

Indeed this simple demonstration only served to prove one point. The human race without God is a doomed people. We are still in our worldly natural selfs, sinful humans. And I should be just as appalled when I'm selfish, as I was with senor doubleparker.

Because let's be honest. I have never double parked in my life, but I have frequently manipulated situations to get what I want. I have purposefully and knowingly put my needs and desires ahead of others. I have followed the world's motto of "Do whatever it takes to get what you want. No matter the cost. No matter who it hurts." Selfishness is the root of greed and greed is what drives the world and its business. 2 Timothy 3:2-5, "People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them."

This, my friends is why christians are called to live a life of love. 1 Corinthians 16:14, gives the simple, yet final command of "Do everything in love." No if's, and's or but's. Because love in its truest form cannot be selfish. If Christ had had a hint of selfishness in Him, He would never have went to the cross.

And here's another spiel. Lately, it seems there has been a movement of almost selfish christianity. There is this whole movement of "you have to love yourself first before you can love someone else." I say bullcrap! I know I may be stepping on a few toes here too because I know really strong christians that believe this, but I respectfully disagree. Because love puts other's first by definition. I say By loving others as God has loved you and by realizing how much God loves you, you are then able to love yourself. Because you recognize how fearfully and wonderfully you are made.(Psalm 139:14). Love must be put into practice to be grasped, and if you put loving yourself into practice first, well then I'm sorry, but aren't you really only practicing selfishness?

But anyway, back to the selfish christianity. I know I have fallen victim to it on occasion. We study and highlight verses in the Bible only when they are applicable to us- only when they meet our needs. Nevermind the fact that it may be hard core truth, if it doesn't fit with what I'm going through, I'm not going to take the time to read it. How many of us have said this? How many of us have put God on the side line until it is convenient to play Him? We're not football coaches, we're Christians. And as such, we should recognize that we don't call the shots. You're not the coach. You're not even the quarterback. God is God and He will not stand to be shoved on a shelf until You're ready to use Him only to your advantage. You only have one parking space! The other goes to God and what He commands and directs for your life. Stop crowding into His space!

And here's another humbling truth- this relationship was never about you. The whole purpose of this life is to bring your Creator glory! He really truly is the greatest. Isaiah 42:8, "I am the Lord; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols."

They say pastors are there to offer spiritual insight. The insight? I've been a double parker way too long.

Confessions of a Broken Toe...

Well my friends, it seems another bone in this body is once again broken. But don't fret, I am well on my way to recovery. A little ice, some elevation, 3 or 4 advil, and a huge amount of patience and I'll be good as new. So, why is this so hard? Because there is pain. But even in the pain, you have to have patience that the pain will eventually cease. So, as I'm sitting here in agony (ha ha actually its really not that bad) I reflect on patience.

Patience has never been easy for me. I know, it's shocking isn't it? Some people can wait for hours for something and not think twice about it. Me? Not so much. LA traffic thoroughly exasperates me. Especially when I'm trying to go home. Winter/Summer breaks never seem to come fast enough. I hate just sitting in the dorm doing nothing. But lately that's all I've been able to do. Indeed, it seems the hardest part of being patient isn't waiting for good things to come, but rather for bad things to pass.

Because here's the thing. When you're not patient, it's wearisome. I thoroughly believe with the loss of patience there is the loss of peace. That's why Romans 12:12 says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." When we loose our pateince we become disheartened pessimists. Isn't it interesting how our outlooks on life completely change when we just have to sit and wait? It forces us to think bigger than ourselves. If forces us to rely on one who can and does control the situation. When we are left helpless we become blatantly aware of our need for God.

And sometimes it's hard to wait. God's answer is not always immediately yes or no. And when this happens as it currently is with the Dominican and Sea World battle I sit there thinking "Ah, God this is so frustrating! Why can't You just tell me?" But then He comes back with, "Because I already know. I'm all knowing and you're not ready yet. You need to trust me a little more with this. You need a little more pateince." I almost cringe at the word now because I know what it entails.

Patience is a call to endure and trust. And it's a strong determination of will to do so. So why go through the efforts? Because God is patient. 2 Peter 3:15, "Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him." I'm so glad that our God is patient or I would not have a hope in the world.

From this we take a lesson from Exodus 32. The Hebrews were finally free from Egypt, and they were sitting at the foot of Mount Sinai waiting for Moses to come back down from the mountain. Several of the people became restless and went to Aaron requesting that some gods be created for them to follow. So Aaron took their gold and created a sculpture of a calf. The people began to celebrate in "pagan revelry." The celebration angered the Lord, who told Moses that He was going to destroy the people. Moses prayed for their safety, and the Lord allowed the people to live. Yet, Moses was so angry with their impatience that he ordered that those not on the Lord's side be killed. The Lord then sent a "great plague upon the people because they had worshiped the calf Aaron had made."

I find this somewhat ironic. Here is a people that had literally waited for decades to be free from the Egyptians. They had just witnessed God part the Red Sea and completely wipe out the Egyptian army. They had seen what He had done to the firstborn of those who turned their backs on Him. Now all of a sudden, Moses goes up to Mt. Sinai and they're like "Oh, God's abandoned us!" We read this story and sit back and almost laugh at the idiocy. But this is no laughing matter. How many times has God proven Himself faithful to me? Well, how many days have I been alive?

Not only did the Hebrew's impatience bring an immediate plague, but it had consequences down the road too. Eventually it cost them their chance to enter the Promised Land. 40 years went by before their descendants were finally given the land. Sometimes God's timing is the most important, because he has other blessings to bestow. We cannot know all of His ways, so it is important to have trust in the delay. Eventually what will come your way will be better than you ever thought it could be, because it will come with God's blessings.

So besides blessings, what else is the purpose of being pateint? Well, I'm glad you asked because I have some thoughts on this. Patience keeps us faithful to the Lord. John 15:4, "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." Patience keeps us on our toes. Mark 13:32, ""No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come."

Some times it's very hard to just sit and wait. But it's all for a reason. I'm thoroughly enjoying the rest from my busy schedule. And the fruit of pateince is not to wait only in the good times, but in the bad as well. It also means not taking out the flute player that practices until two in the morning downstairs. This is the hardest- patience in suffering. But always remember that God is faithful. He knows what He's doing and He hasn't forgotten you in the corner. So be content in waiting. Easier said than done I know.

Psalm 40:1, "For the director of music. Of David. A psalm. I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry."

Confessions of a Miss America News Watcher...

So, the other day I was bored out of my mind. And after my roommate and I had finished drawing mustaches on our faces with eyeliner I decided it was time to cave and finally turned on the T.V. The channel was on a news network. Normally I don't watch the news because it is so morbidly depressing, but that night they had a pastor form Florida on and he was saying how on September 11th people should burn the Koran.

Instantly I got the tingles. Something about this was just not quite right. And finally after a few minutes of thinking about it I was able to narrow it down. How is this being a peacemaker?

Today in America we're all about being proud. Standing up for your rights. And I'm not saying anything bad about it. I think in certain situations its admirable. I've always believed if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything. But there is a difference between standing for something and attacking.

I think for a lot of people this gets confused. Standing takes courage. Not attacking takes a willful desire to keep the peace. Christ says turn the other cheek. Don't fight back. When the Pharisees mocked Him, He kept silent. However, He also kept preaching.

And here's another thing I learned watching the news. The world is a pretty scary place and at times like this it is so comforting to know Peace. The one who calmed the storm is the same one handling every situation. I think what that Pastor in Florida forgot was that God's hand was all over September 11th. He was Sovereign through it. And although I'm pretty sure He wasn't too fond of what went down, God is good. And He will make good, even out of evil.

The world lacks peace because they don't recognize the one who gives it. Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You."

John 16:33, "I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world."

Colossians 3:15, "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. Christ is peace. Let Christ rule in your hearts.

All of these verses demand one conclusion. If you want peace you have to know Peace. The Prince of Peace. You can't get it any other way. And you'll never survive this world without it. Because when you take away God, you have chaos. You have murder, rape, deceit, idolatry, cheating, etc. Not a very good thing to put your trust in if you ask me.

I don't know if we're all going to die by global warming. I don't know if there is going to be a massive earthquake and LA is going to fall into the ocean. I don't know if the world will truly end in 2012. But I'm not too worried. I've survived the swine flue, Y2K, Bird flue, Valley Fever Epidemic, and Mad Cow disease. And most importantly, I know Peace.

The world is lost and looking for answers. So many things happen and people find themselves panicking, saying "What will we do? How will we stop this? I'm so tired of fighting, all I want is world peace."

So here's my mission. I'm going to be Miss America and when they ask what I want most I'm going to say "World Peace." But unlike the other contestants I'm not going to stop there. No, what good is the solution if you don't have a method of getting it? So here it is America. Here is my solution for World Peace: Christ. Chaos and destruction cannot stand when up against our God!

Ephesians 2:14, "For He Himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier."

Confessions of a Dancer...

Sometimes, you just need to dance down the aisle of a grocery store. Sometimes, you need to sing in the rain. All of this means just letting go. There are no worries, no sorrows, no problems. You put them aside for that brief instance and you dance. And that is why i think it is so theraputic.

Something I've been realizing lately though is God's joy works the same. It's been crazy this summer to realize that no matter what the situation, I can still find reason to smile. God's Joy and Love just overwhelm me at times. And compared to that love, my worries are pennies. It has changed how I act outwardly too.I'm much more of an optimist now and I smile more :)

Now make no mistake, joy is not happiness.Happiness comes only for a brief moment. It will quickly fade away and it depends on your circumstances. But joy is everlasting because our God is everlasting. We have purpose. We have one who fights and protects us. We have a reason to keep living. Psalm 30:5 "For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." And the more in-tune with God you become, the more you dance to His rythym, the more joyful you are. Honestly, I believe this is how the world can set us apart. There's just something about us.

Asking most people what they want from life gets the same answer, "I just want to be happy." There is a common belief that happiness is something that can be achieved and held on to it. We look forward to that time in which we can finally be happy, but it's never going to happen! The world has mistaken shere joy for happiness. They think, "Oh if I graduate high school, then I will be happy." And once they do, "Oh, if I get a college education, then I will be happy. Oh if I get married, then I will be happy. Oh when things get better, then I will be happy." But it's never going to be enough. You are never going to be happy all the time. That's not what happiness is designed for. It was designed for only a short time. And I believe the purpose of this is so you can recognize your need of joy. Because joy is everlasting! It fills in the gaps that happiness cannot.

Happiness cannot occur when there is sorrow, but joy can. Happiness cannot occur when situations go bad, but joy can. Happiness cannot get you through the stresses of life, but joy can. So, when people say they "just want to be happy" they are severely shallowing themselves. I don't want to be happy. I want to be joyful because it is so much deeper. It goes beyond happiness and is rooted in Christ.

Now this isn't going to say that every day of your life is going to be supercalifragalisticexpialidocious. That's not reality. I mean come on, we live in a fallen world. But with joy comes hope. And hope is the faith that things will get better. The faith that God is working even in the crummy circumstances. And you know what. That makes me happy :)

Joy, is how we get through the "tough stuff." Because Joy turns you into an optimist. It's the strangest feeling. Your heart is aching, but yet you're excited for it because you begin to realize just what God is doing. He's working something that's not quite done yet. And it gives you the hope, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6).

And I know it sounds weird, but I get somewhat excited when I or friends go through stuff. And it's not in a sadistic way of I like to see them in pain, but it's because I know what God is doing. Everything has a purpose. And they will not be the same after the experience. God is molding them and shaping them. God is there and He is declaring it!

And that is joy my friends. That is reason to smile every day. Because God is not only living. He did not only conquor death and save us. He is not just sitting in heaven watching us. He is active. He is involved. He is in every gosh darn thing you're doing. Fervently. That's pretty awesome! And trials seem often the times when I'm most reminded of that. So I begin to realize just what James is talking about when he says, "consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds." (James 1:2)

So why not dance?

Psalm 30:11 "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy."

Confessions of an Adventurer...

"Don't be afraid of death. Be afraid of the unlived life. You don't have to live forever- you just have to live."

That's one of my favorite quotes of all times. Because it challenges me to make the most out of every day we are given. To never say no to a new experience or adventure. Indeed it's what inspired my "Before I Kick It" list. And here's a fact that most people don't know about me just from looking at me- I crave adventure. I don't know what it is, but I live for those adrenaline rushes. I love to see and explore new things (just sometimes I don't like the bugs and physical strain that comes with them ha ha). But today my friends, I am embarking on a new mission. One that I've never done before. One that is more crucial than I had previously realized. I'm going to figure out over the next couple of weeks what exactly my spiritual gift is. AND I'm going to find a life verse.

To my astonishment, spiritual gifts are actually talked about in the Bible far more than I imagined, such as 1 Corinthians 12-14, Romans 12, Ephesians 4, and 1 Peter 4. And because they are so prominent I think they're pretty important. Because what I've learned from reading those passages is they are crucial to how I serve. 1 Peter 4:10, "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." Now, it is very hard to be a good steward of something we know nothing about, and of something which we do not even know we possess. Dare I say, it makes no sense! It is insulting to the God that created you that you don't even take the time to fully realize who you were created to be. Not to mention, you miss out on some major blessings.

Knowing your spiritual gift will enable you to find your place of ministry. Knowing your spiritual gift will help to determine your priorities. "We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully." (Romans 12:6-8). That puts it pretty plainly. You are called to serve, so serve. You are called to show mercy, so show mercy. Before you worry about school, work, friends, relationships, etc, make sure your spiritual gift is active. You may need it in school, work, with friends, relationships, etc. Also, knowing you spiritual gift can also help you discover God's will for your life.

And here's another thing I realized, if you don't know your spiritual gift you may be trying to do someone else's job. Because the cool thing is this, God placed us all together for a reason. Everyone you know, is in your life for a purpose. Those other Christians are there because God knows they are the eyes, legs, feet to your hands. Nothing is coincidence. And you fill that part like no one can. You are never going to find two left big toes. So why do I then compare myself to others? Why do I go around saying, "Oh, I'm never going to be able to do what she does?" And then my brain goes "Of course not dummy. She's a toe, you're an ear. Duh" 1 Corinthians 12: 18-19, "But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be?" God is living and active even when we are too ignorant to see it!

But here's the cool thing. Once you realize what your spiritual gift is and how you fit in with other believers. Once you realize that you are unique, then you can focus on the life, the blood, what draws us all together to fit one whole, complete body. You can realize that we are all the same when it comes to God's grace. You are one complete body, fervently glorifying your Creator. 1 Corinthians 12:13, "For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body--whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free--and we were all given the one Spirit to drink."

Therefore, my friends, it is crucial that I find where I belong. So, I'm going to start looking, praying, taking online quizzes ha ha, doing whatever it takes until I find out just what my gift is. And you know what, I think it will be a pretty good adventure. Dare I say, better than the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland. The effects- much more lasting.