Well my friends I have done it again. I keep telling myself, "No sugar before bed. It does things to you." But do I listen? No! So here I am, 4 in the morning, been awake for about an hour, eating yet another slice of cheesecake, and wondering how on earth to pass the time until the sugar crash kicks in because I was stupid and ate one slice already at 11 right before bed. Eh, why not do some writing?
I was lying in bed thinking about my day, particularily how amazing it felt just to gaze at the ocean after five weeks. Marine biologist out of water. You know its a rough life when no matter where you end up working it will most likely have to be near a beach. Anyway, while journaling in the sand, I began to think about why it was so funny that its so much easier to journal when out in nature. It's like all of a sudden, you look at the ocean and realize just how present God is. Why do we do that? Why is it that we feel so much closer to God? Nothing has changed. Our circumstances haven't miraculously gotten better. God is omnipresent. It's not like He's just decided to only chill at the beach. Although if He did, I mean, come on, who could blame Him? The only thing different is where WE stand. And that got me thinking. It's all about mindset. When I go to the beach to journal, I am expecting to meet with God. Even when I don't bring my journal, just walking in the waves is good alone time of worship. It's inevitable. I've never not been to the beach, even with friends and volleyball, ect, and not had it happen. I think it goes back to that awe factor found in Psalm 33:6-9, "By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, And by the breath of His mouth all their host. He gathers the waters of the sea together as a heap; He lays up the deeps in storehouses. Let all the earth fear the Lord; Let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him. For He spoke, and it was done; He commanded, and it stood fast."
But, see, now I am convicted. Because why should it only be that we expect to meet with God only in nature? Only when we seek Him? Have we lost the comprehension that He seeks us? What would it look like if we lived our daily lives expecting to meet with God? What happened to that eager anticipation? We waste it on such stupid things- like how good that piece of cheesecake is going to taste. What would it look like if intimacy with God wasn't just confined to our quiet times, Bible studies, church, and anytime WE choose to set aside? I think this is where a lot of christians fall out and loose their joy. Because when you eagerly anticipate something, you're so anxious it makes you kind of giddy. Think I'm wrong? Tell the next five year old you see in a week you're going to take him to Disneyland and tell me it doesn't make him happier and get him all excited. Or relate it to your own life. I'm a single, 22 year old girl, who is eagerly awaiting the day I find my agape love life partner and get to marry him. Boom! Smile. Right there! See?
I think sometimes we try to limit God. We forget that His love never faulters, that He never gets tired of pursuing us. That He is constantly eager to meet with us. God will never say, "Oh, Rachel. Yeah, I don't feel like meeting today. Can we postpone? I'm having an introverted moment." I do that, but He doesn't.
It's time to put down the fork. I can sleep easily, wondering, as I dream off, what God is going to do tomorrow and just how He plans to meet...
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:13
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