Confessions of a Charlie Brown...

      This morning I discovered one advantage to waking up with the sun. "A Boy Named Charlie Brown" was on! I've always had a soft spot for that little baldy. I tuned in, expecting to be able to veg out and maybe even nap a little bit. But what I didn't expect was a spiritual lesson in it. I started watching right about the point where Charlie Brown is just really down on life. He says he has too many problems, so maybe he should seek professional help about it. Enter Lucy. Lucy offers to help "cure" Charlie by her own special method. But her method works just the opposite. She goes slide after slide of all Charlie Brown's faults. She then preceeds to tell Charlie Brown that he just needs to kick it and move on. To give him a physical analogy, she offers to hold the football while he runs up and sends it flying. But Charlie Brown is no dummy. He knows Lucy's really going to move the football. And he tells her as such. To defend herself, Lucy says he has two choices: either he tries to kick the ball or they go back in and watch more of Charlie Brown's faults. Either way for poor Charlie it's a loose loose situation. Finally Charlie Brown makes a decision. He gets his courage up and running as fast as he can toward the football yells at the top of his lungs, "This is it! This is really it! I'm going to beat it this time!" And I think for a moment he really does believe that. But just at the last second Lucy moves the football and he falls flat on his back. As if the disapointed hopes weren't enough, Lucy offers to let him watch his failure over and over on instant replay.

     I was taken aback a moment. How many times have I danced that same dance with sin? How many times have I given in to something knowing already how badly it would end? How many times have I said, "This is it! I'm finally going to give this up! I'm finally going to kick this habit! I won't idolize boys anymore. I won't compare myself to girls anymore. I won't obsess about my looks anymore!" Only two hours later I'm back on the scale crying because I've gained a half a pound since I weighed myself on an empty stomach that morning. And Lucy is an important figure in all this too. Because much like Satan loves to do, Lucy never wavers in pointing out Charlie's faults. Over and over Satan loves to say "See. Give it up. Look at how many times you've failed. Remember all those things you did wrong? You will never be worthy of love. You will never be forgiven. You're too bad." The regrets of our past are on instant replay in our minds. And it's hard to fight against them because they just keep coming back. We seem stuck in a loose loose situation.

     Such a daily/hourly struggle can wear a person out. It can truly make them a sad sack Charlie Brown. But here's the hope that Charlie Brown never discovered: God is TRUTH. He's the only way you can combat the instant replay of bad choices and regret. And He has promised He will never leave us (Hebrews 13:5). He has promised when we call He will forgive us (Acts 2:21). He has planned good things for us not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11). He has promised that we are no longer doomed to live in constant replay of regret. God does not remember our faults so why should we? (Psalm 103:12). God will not be a Lucy. He will not remove the football right before you achieve victory. In fact, He's right there kicking it with you. As Christians God has already given us the victory! (1 Corinthians 15:57) 

     And when you realize that, it even affects how you view other people. I find myself getting really discouraged when people who know better, take the wrong path. When good guys/girls don't pursue the right things in their relationships. When people make terrible choices about friends, drugs, alcohol, their futures, ect. I ache for them. I want them to stay "the good ones." They've been fighting against this temptation for so long and it seems so hopeless when it looks as if they're finally giving in. I want to be the cheerleader again standing at the sideline yelling, "No. Keep going down the narrow path. You're doing good! Don't believe the shallowness and lies of this world! DON'T GIVE INTO CULTURE! You're so close!" But I've been left with a certain reality-I am no different. And if my ache is this great, how much more does a Perfect and Loving Father ache for them and for me?

     But God has not abadoned us. Even if we have turned from Him. It's not my job to save them. Especially since I'm drowning myself. But we have a lifeguard who walks on water. Only God can turn their heart's back to Him. Every time I try I'm bound to fail. All I can really do is pray for them. But they are forgiven. Those who have a past are forgiven. And every time I stand before someone who has one I have two choices: I can judge them for their time away. Or, I can accept them and thank God that they are no longer that person. I can choose to focus on the testimony those painful mistakes have given them. And I can find hope that mine add to my testimony as well. It makes it easier to love them by accepting who they are. And for those that I still ache for, it gives me hope to see how God could use this in the future for His glory. It gives me the strength to run to kick the football one last time.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." -Hebrews 12:1-2