Confessions of a Sprained Ankle...

I know what most of you are already thinking by reading the title of this post. And yes, unfortunately, I have sprained my ankle yet again. My good one this time too. Which is pretty much the only thought running through my head right now. "NO NO NO, Not my good one!." In truth, over the past two weeks I have been rapidly learning what Paul meant when he said "I have learned the secret of being content" (Phil 4:12). This isn't a lesson that I'm necessariy enjoying though. I mean, I always imagined learning this lesson through some sort of joyful circumstance. Instead, it is kind of being forced upon me. I have to be content or I will not survive my day. That's all there is to it.

Why do I say this? Well, allow me to have a 5 second pity party and say life is kind of kicking my butt right now. But God is also constantly slapping me with how good He is to me. School is stressing me out big time, but I have to recognize that I'm fortunate enough to attend it. And I'm not going through it alone (Phil. 4:13). I have no working car, which has limited what I can do volunteer wise, but my car is in the shop being repaired for two weeks, not burnt down on the side of the freeway like the one I saw heading back to Long Beach. My left ankle (which is my good one) is now swelling, but at least I can walk on it. My dad's health worries me, but at least I still have him. I feel like I don't have time for friends anymore, but at least there are weekends to try to catch up. My suitemates rarely acknowledge me, but my roommate and I are closer than ever. The shower in the dorm is freezing, the doors don't work, the dining hall is failing miserably in the vegetarian department, but I have a roof. I have a bed. And I have food. Basically what I've been realizing is I'm being a whiny brat. I'm sitting here crying over not having a canon rebel of my own, and my cousins have the crappiest home life I can imagine. I'm mad because I have to take the bus everywhere with sometimes questionably people, but I've never had any of those people try to mess with me.

I guess I'm just tired of the shallowness and selfish person I've become. Sick of it actually. And the only way God is getting me out of it is by teaching me to be content. I'm rapidly realizing that this whole thing is bigger than me. Duh, I know, but honestly. My pride is definitely taking a beating But I need to be humbled out because I was getting way too haughty. It's time to take a step back and say, "Woah, wait a minute. Really Rachel? You're really going to complain to the God of the universe because you have achne? Grow up." And God still loves me anyway. That baffles me. And it gives me the strength to just not completely go too far the other way and overly beat myself up over it.

Lord, teach me contentment in all circumstances. I want to be like Paul- suffering and all if need be...