I've had a newly found vendetta as of late. I figured it was about time one showed up. I don't get them very often. Indeed my last one was against skinny jeans on guys, and it's lasted me about a good four years. Still hate them by the way. Anyway, my newest victim of disgust surprises me, because this past year I probably spent close to two hundred dollars indulging in it: Chick flicks.
Yes, I don't like chick flicks. Here are some reasons why:
1) They are impractical. Have you noticed how the guy always comes around? Have you noticed how hopelessly romantic he is? Have you noticed how they always seem to set each other for those perfect one-liners? Life cannot be rehearsed people. Trust me. I have rehearsed frequent conversations in my head and when they happen in real life they never go as planned. They are nothing more than daydreams of the writer. And the reason the writer has to daydream them is because they don't happen in reality.
2) They set you up for idolizing falling in love. I'm going to be honest. I think about the guy I crush on all the time. I daydream even of sitting in church with Him, WHILE I'M IN CHURCH. The guy has become my idol. I can't get him out of my head. But these things that I daydream he's doing don't really even fit his character. They fit the character of what I saw the guy in the movie do. Let me give an example which will hopefully clarify this point. I once crushed on a guy who hated the beach. And yet I would have daydreams of us sitting on the beach, watching the sunset, talking, and then falling asleep in each other's arms. This was my fantasy of what was romantic. But the truth is, he would never ever really do that with me. He HATES the beach! And then I asked myself why I thought it was romantic. The truth? Because the movies and all these teenie bopper books told me it was. If I had never read a romance novel or watched a movie would I find the beach so romantic?
Which leads me to number 3) They set you up for disappointment. Romance movies have taught me to be all heart and no head. They have told me that when guys don't talk to you it just means they're shy. That they secretly have strong feelings for you, they just don't know how to tell you. But my head knows the truth. My head says, "You dummy. If he liked you he'd talk to you." My head says, "You know he doesn't have feelings towards you. You only keep hoping he does because that guy in the movie acted the same way and he ended up secretly having feelings for her." There is a total sense of false hope.
And here's my last point. 4) Romance movies completely shallow out the definition of love. I honestly have no idea what it means to love someone for them. And its something that I'm working on and really struggling with. It's something that I am constantly praying about. Because I've realized that the guys that I have "loved" I have "loved" because of who they represented, not who they were. I realize that the guys I even crush on I don't crush on them for them. I crush on them because they once showed interest and I fantasize about what they could represent to me. And I think this honestly even corresponds to the divorce rate. Girls get this shallowed out, almost fantasy idea of love. And they dream of their wedding. And they dream of wedded bliss. And they dream of romance. And they try to be practical and say there will be struggles, but they dream of fighting through the struggles. Like it was all one big movie script. And then they get in real life where there's money, cooking, cleaning, and imperfect people (who's flaws aren't planned to appear at a specific point like in a novel) and all of a sudden they're miserable because there's no way real life can ever live up to fantasy.
Now with all of this said do I think you can be happy in marriage? 100% ABSOLUTELY. Do I think guys can be spontaneously adorable and romantic in real life? You bet! Do I think romances are bad? No, not necessarily.
But I am left with a few questions to ponder. If I had never watched a chick flick or read a romance novel, how would I define romance? What would I say it means to love someone? Because honestly folks, I've been falsely tainted. And I guess the biggest question of all is, without having been taught to romantically daydream how else would I have spent my time? What else would I think about? And I know deep down where I can find answers to all these questions. I should have been looking to Christ all along for them anyway.
"Dear Heart, do you belong to me, or do I belong to you? Just look at all the trouble you drag me into. I've heard it said to follow your heart, but I'm starting to wonder if it's gone too far. Oh Heart, you've let me down, chasing love where it can't be found. Heart, we've fallen out, cause all of your emotions have led me to doubt. Tell me who's gonna save us now?" -Sanctus Real
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