Confessions of a People Watcher...

Have you ever just sat and watched people? I mean not in the creepy, psycho way, but just with the naive innocent, curious way? It's fascinating what you will find. People do the funniest things, if only you could capture it. Hmm, maybe that's why I love photography so much.

Anyway, the other day I sat and just watched. You know, there's a lot you can tell about people by the way they interact. But something I also realized is that with people watching you have to be careful. Because it is amazing how fast those "perceptions" turn into judgements and comparisons.

And it got me thinking. I'm too quick to judge others. Just last week I heard a quote that said "Only the Christian army turns around and shoots its wounded." And you know, they're right in a way. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not advocating total tolerance. Not by any means. There are some things that are, in their very nature, sin. And Christ is very clear on his intolerance of sin. But I think too many times we condemn someone by what they do and the mistakes they make, and not who they really are- someone who has received the grace of Christ. We turn into courtrooms instead of hospitals and neglect to realize we are in no position to be the judge. In fact, I've been a pretty crappy nurse lately. I thought about this and I kind of had one of those mirror/self-reflection moments. I realized, I definitely wouldn't want someone looking at me and judging me based off of my past mistakes.

The call of the Christian is not to condemn. It is compassion. It is discernment. It is accountability. Because when you look at the big picture, we're all screw ups. We are all in need of grace. None of us deserve any blessings that have been given us. And that's where I believe the difference lies. We are not at any place to condemn, but are called to accountability. We're not on a high horse, but rather stuck in the mud with everybody else. But that's where humility and compassion come in. It's recognizing yes, you messed up. Yes, I messed up. No, that is NOT okay. Yes, there needs to be a change. I mean even Matthew 7 which says in it's very first verse "Do not judge or you too will be judged" later goes on to say in verse 6 "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Don't be a fool and completely tolerant. Keep your convictions, just not the condeming attitude.

Because that's really in it's core what sets us apart. Being intolerant and recognizing sin as sin, but recognizing grace and love of our Savior and mirroring them. Recognizing that we are just as much in need of forgiveness and pardoning of sins, and pointing to the only one who can offer it. Because let's face it, the world has enough judgement as it it. We are constantly being rated on the way we look, dress, act, how much money we make, our relationships, what kind of cars we drive etc. The last thing they need is more from someone who is called to "Do everything in love" (1 Corinthians 16:14) And accountability is a huge part of love.

Now, if y'all will excuse me I'm going to go ice my bucked-off-the-high-horse kicked butt.

"Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."- Plato

Confessions of a Delayed Thanksgiving...

I am blessed with great friends, great family, and hilarious moments. I swear sometimes I should make a video diary of my life, compile it into film, and title it "Yes. That. Really. Just. Happened." I mean I've never really been unhappy with my life, but I'm realizing now it's in the little things. The little gestures that just make you laugh when you look back and remember them. You just can't help but smile. It's truly beautiful.

So my friends, I'm making a motion that every day should be Thanksgiving. And I'm not just talking about unlimited pumpkin pie. Because even when life isn't so beautiful, there is still a reason to smile. Someone wise once said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted" and I completely agree. So, the question remains, how do we find joy when there is nothing but sadness and devastation around? I mean, after all it's a command. 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

In Christ Jesus. That's the key. Because no matter what happens, no matter what goes wrong or who abandons you, His grace and love never will. You will never fall out of His hands. So respond to it.

It's such a simple truth, yet it's amazing how much more of an optimist it can make you. Knowing that every day you wake up and can breathe and have life, you are unbelievably blessed.

If anyone had a reason to have a negative attitude, it was the apostle Paul. I mean think about it, the guy had been in prison, beaten, scourged, beaten with rods, stoned, shipwrecked, and poor. But through all this, he remained positive. Why? Paul had "learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need" (Phil. 4:12). "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me," (Phil. 4:13).

Paul's attitude was, "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God" (Rom. 8:28). Paul knew that God used everything in his life for good, even when suffering greatly for the cause of Christ.

And that is something to be thankful for. The hope that even in the crappiest of situations, no matter what you've done, God is still God. And that God is one pretty awesome guy.

The greatest blessing you can ever give and receive is life. Even Jesus said "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) He gave His for us. To save us so we could live.

Through grace and love and mercy we have life. And what an amazing life it is. Full of innumerable blessings worthy of the highest praise. All you have to do is start looking. And once you do, you are truly thankful.

"I Love this crazy tragic, sometimes, almost magic. Awful beautiful life."

Confessions of a Crappy Blogger...

The New Year always brings resolutions. But for me it's mostly a time for reflections. A chance to look back on the previous year and see the good, the bad, the ugly. So, as I was randomly sitting contemplating my existence one night a thought occurred to me. I haven't been blogging lately. As a not so subtle sign, that same week I received a letter in the mail from a pen pal saying she missed reading my blogs. Then, this past week another dear friend of mine again questioned why the "Confessions of a..." had suddenly disappeared. Well, this thought really bothered me. Because I read back through all the other confession blogs and I was amazed at what God was teaching me. I was amazed at how passionate I had been for Him. I was amazed at how much He had almost made a ministry out of taking a few short minutes a couple of times a week and blogging. So I asked myself, why haven't I been blogging lately?

The answer my friends, not so great. Why haven't I been blogging lately? I can lie and tell you it's because I've been busy. I can say there was just too much to do. I can say God had called me to other ministries. But that's not actually what happened. The truth? I stopped being inspired. And I stopped being inspired because I stopped looking for inspiration (God).

Now, normally I'm not one for regrets, but I kind of feel like this past semester was a waste. I mean, yeah I got the majority of the class work that needed to be done finished, but I realized, I really didn't feel like me this semester. And I began to wonder what changed. I'll tell you what changed- where I sought my identity.

See I've been the textbook example of "on-fire Christian who buys into the lies of the world" this past semester. And let me just say, it doesn't work. I put my identity in what others thought of me. I became a people pleaser doing things and saying things to feel accepted and included. But what did I end up with? A ruined self-esteem and like a permanent state of PMS-I was seriously a you-know-what this past semester. I got so frustrated because I knew that this "girl" that I'd fashioned and was displaying was not who I really was. It was truly an identity crisis. I'd look in the mirror and not even recognize her.

Luke 9:23,25, "Then he said to them all: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?'"

Well, it’s no wonder I’m having an identity crisis! I have forfeited my very self! I was defined by God. He was my Maker, my Creator, my Savior, my Father, my LORD. And I, not Him, but I have removed myself. I’ve thrown Him to the wind and said, “Forget you God. You don’t define me anymore. I define me.” Biggest mistake I have ever made. Because I am NOTHING without Christ. I have no purpose, no motivation, no anything. And now I am a heartbroken lover, standing by the side wishing for things to go back to the way they were. Wondering how they ever stopped being the way they were. Consumed by my idol. Given in to temptation.

I feel like a crazy ex-girlfriend. I miss God. I miss having Him on my mind. I miss talking to Him fervently. I miss hearing His voice. I miss my quiet times. I miss His Joy. I miss Peace. I miss being able to blog about what He has been teaching me. I miss looking, seeing, and being amazed at how He was involved in every tiniest minutest detail of my life. Dare I say, I even miss the conviction of trusting Him with my love life.

My identity changed when I forsook my first love. And I forsook my first love for acceptance. Acceptance which I really didn't get in the end anyway. It's like Ecclesiastes says- Meaningless! It's all meaningless!

But this changes now. So what if people don't like me? So what if they ridicule me because I'm "religious". I am who I am. And I am a child of God. I was stupid to think I could ever be anything but! He defines me. I'm sorry world, but you're out! You've done WAY more harm than good.

The good news in all this? Grace. As my very wise sunday school teacher put it, "You can take thousands of steps away from God, but it only takes one to turn you back around."

So, 2011 school year and blogs- Here's lookin' at you kid!

"I don't want you to know where I am 'cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been. This is no place to try and live my life. Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it. See that line. Well I never should have crossed it. Stop right there. Well I never should have said That it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back. I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again. 'Cause who I am hates who I've been. WHO I AM HATES WHO I'VE BEEN."-Reliant K

Confessions of a Repeating Blogger...

"There's nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." Have you ever had the occurrence where you feel you are learning a lesson that has already been taught to you? An instance where you've already been reminded that God is Sovereign and you thought that you had gotten past that and yet God still brings you back around and teaches you again? Well, if you have I'd like to say welcome to my world right now. I'm not really sure why, but it seems that everything I'm struggling with now I have severely struggled with before. It's the same story. The same issues, just in a different circumstance. And I begin to wonder, what's the point? I begin to grow weary at the thought of what I'm heading into again.

But then I realize, sometimes, we need to be reminded of things we've already learned. Sometimes we forget. Sometimes we don't grow in a straight line, exponentially up. Sometimes its more of a spiral. The point of this? For God to come along and remind us that He is Sovereign. No matter how many times you may face the same issue, you always learn something different from it. No matter how many lessons you learn, you always realize that God is sovereign through it.

Honestly, last year I struggled with loneliness, death, hopeless romanticism, confidence, self esteem, and idolatry. My issues this year? The exact same. And I grow weary at the thought. I'm tired. I've found myself saying, "What the heck God? I thought that bridge was crossed?" And He ever so gently reminds me, "Not yet Rachel. That bridge still has a few potholes that you skipped over that need to be fixed. But, Do not Fear. Your life right now is sporadic. Your life right now is crazy. Your life right now is random, ever-changing. But I am constant. I will not move, so don't you move away from me, even if you feel you can't find me. My love for you is never-ending." Psalm 121:3 "He will not let your foot slip-He who watches over you will not slumber"

"You know when I wake, when I rise, when I pray, when I curse You. And You love me the same. You know when I stumble and fall, and You're there through it all. The only unchanging one..."

Confessions of a Learned Lesson...

If there's one thing I have learned from my Theatre 113 class it's that sometimes you just need to suck it up and do it! Sometimes you just have to scream your guts out in public and shut the critic up. I hate those excercises. But being in an intro to acting class I find myself needing to scream, cry, stomp, rage, panic, sob, laugh uncontrollably, and even potentially die on stage. But the most curious thing has been to see what happens after you do those things. Much to my surprise, I actually feel better. In fact, it pretty much makes me want to dance straight up. Just ask my suitemates. It's embarrassing, but we actually have a dance to "Toot it and Boot it." The ciritc inside the mind is finally shut up. This same critic tells me I shouldn't do those things. That it's not natural or sensible.

I think the same thing happens sometimes in the department of tithing. It's really hard to start, especially if you're in debt. And there is that critic in your mind that goes, "I can't do this. I'm already in debt. How will I feed myself?" or "I work so hard for my money and the government already takes half of it. Why can't I just have a little for myself?" It's almost painful to think of dropping half your check in the offering plate.

But tithing is an act of obedience. It wasn't just designed forthe people in Leviticus. And I here so many times people say, "Well I tithe with my time." Sorry, that doesn't cut it for me. It's laid out strict and clear in Leviticus. Tithing is ten percent of all your wages. When you start earning hours instead of dollars than we shall talk about tithing with your time.

But here's the thing. What was I so afraid of before? Did I really not trust in God enough to provide? Was I really selfish enough to try to keep what was never mine, mine? It feels good to tithe. It doesn't feel natural being a by nature selfish human. But the same is true of giving.

We live in a world that is take, take, take. Don't believe me, take a trip to any store. We've learned it from the day of womb emergence. You will hear two year olds now a days with a vocabulary of "No. Mommy. Daddy." and "Gimme" Being generous is what sets us apart as Christians. Having motives of love and not expecting anything in return is what distinguishes us.

So here's the challenge I place on myself as well. Whomever you love, love them 100%. Whatever you do, do it 100%. Whatever you give, give it 100%. Give it with a heart of gratitude. Give it with Joy. Give it with Trust. Our God deserves nothing less.

Confessions of an Inspired Speaker...

The other day I came across this video on facebook, and it truly inspired me. I have always known and believed that abortion was wrong. I've made a decision that I will never vote for a Presidential candidate if he is not pro-life. I don't know, maybe it's just being adopted. Maybe it's the chance that I could have possibly been aborted. Anyway, I cam across this video of this girl speaking out against abortion and it truly riled me up, but in a good way.

Here's why I loved it. 1) Her story. She survived the abortion and was delivered alive. That right there is a testament that the "fetus" as the world has so nonchalantly named it, is living. 2) The eyes through which she saw herself. She was talking about how when she was younger her birth mother and foster parents really could care less about her. In fact, they wanted to leave her behind in a dumpster somewhere. That's not the most self-esteem boosting knowledge. But here's what got me. She said, "I don't care. I was put here for a reason. I'm God's girl! And you don't mess with God's girl!" Mmhmm, you know it! 3) At the end she just called it out like it is. She called out the men for not stepping up to the plate. She called out the congressmen for putting politics over values. She called out the women. This girl was laying it on like nobody's business. 4) As she was speaking it was like I could hear the foundations of the world's lie shattering. It was trembling and faltering in the presence of God. It reminded me of the power behind Joel 2:11, "The LORD thunders at the head of his army; his forces are beyond number, and mighty are those who obey his command..."

Well, I loved it! I have a soft spot for the rebel type- not sure why. And if you're going to be a rebel, be a rebel for Christ. This girl was not afraid of what they would do to her. She was not afraid of what they would say about her. She did not even take into consideration that she was preaching Christ in a public government building. She spoke truth with power and conviction. And she would NEVER back down! It was truly inspiring. In fact, I think I might just have a new hero.

Some day, I hope to be like this. Someday, I pray that God molds me into the woman where I don't sugar coat things. I don't play nicey nicey, I tell it like it is when it comes to God. I proclaim His truth with no regrets! And if I were to be boo'ed off the stage? Well, that would just put a smile on my face.I'd love to be a rebel with a cause. I'd love to be hated by the world, because that means that I wouldn't belong to it.(John 15:18)

I'm God's girl. And you don't mess with God's girl!

Acts 4:31, "After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly."

Confessions of a Non-Coincidence...

Here's something that I've really learned this week. God has quite a way of getting His point across. Something that I've been struggling with lately is ministering to my roommmates. And it basically breaks down to the fact that I still care so much about what the world thinks of me. But I don't know why I'm so afraid. My roommate is one of the sweetest people alive. And she's Catholic, so it's not like she's going to start yelling at me, call me and idiot, and tell me that God doesn't exist. And even if she did mock me, what's the big deal?

When i was reading in John this week I came across this verse: John 15:18-21, ""If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.'If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me." How convicting and shaming is that? Especially verse 19. It almost makes me want to be like, "Alright. Let's be hated. I'm okay with that." It's a call to be transformed.

Well, after discussing this with one of my Bible study leader's she brought up a good point. If you approach it as, "This is what I believe" than there's really nothing they can do about it. She also pointed out that I had to do this. It was an act of obedience. I had never thought of it that way before. By not ministering, I was acting in disobedience. And here I am trying to live for God!

Well, after the discussion with her I went to my Bible study later that night. The topic? Ministering to your roommate. I thought "how appropriate." But wait, there's more. This past weekend when i went to church the sermon was on ministering to the lost. I sat there in the car completely in awe of how pointed this was. Then yesterday, I came back to facebook only to find a video with someone interviewing CSULB students asking, "Who is Jesus?" Their answers broke my heart. Okay God, I can take a hint. These random occurrences are NOT in no way, shape, or form, coincidence.

Therefore, it is demanded that I obey. Christ said, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments" (John 14:15). It's as simple as that. And one of those commandments is love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind. Obedience is an action to show you love someone. it's as simple as that. I cannot 100% love God if I don't obey Him. I cannot obey Him if I don't do what He commands. And He has commanded, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:19-20)

Lord, give me the courage to be a light in such a dark world.

Confessions of a Double Parker...

The other day I saw one of the simplest, no big deal, yet most appalling things. I had made really good time on the freeway, so I arrived at Rock Harbor a whole 45 minutes too early. So, being the shy type I decided to journal in the car.

Well, as I was getting it on with God one of the associate pastors pulled up in his convertible and decided to back in. He did all kinds of pivoting maneuvers and finally ended up smack dab in the middle of 2 spaces. As he got out he gave a slight nod of satisfaction in knowing that his precious car would remain unscratched.

I couldn't believe my eyes! An associate pastor of a huge church already limited on space double parking?! Surely my eyes were deceiving me! But then my sense came to as I was watching the poor pregnant woman waddle in front of me who had been jipped out of her parking space. I realized I was appalled at this only because he was a pastor. If any other christian had done it, I would not have thought twice. I should have been appalled no matter what. He's not called to a higher moral standard because he's a pastor, but because he's a christian. The same standards that apply to him apply to me.

Indeed this simple demonstration only served to prove one point. The human race without God is a doomed people. We are still in our worldly natural selfs, sinful humans. And I should be just as appalled when I'm selfish, as I was with senor doubleparker.

Because let's be honest. I have never double parked in my life, but I have frequently manipulated situations to get what I want. I have purposefully and knowingly put my needs and desires ahead of others. I have followed the world's motto of "Do whatever it takes to get what you want. No matter the cost. No matter who it hurts." Selfishness is the root of greed and greed is what drives the world and its business. 2 Timothy 3:2-5, "People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them."

This, my friends is why christians are called to live a life of love. 1 Corinthians 16:14, gives the simple, yet final command of "Do everything in love." No if's, and's or but's. Because love in its truest form cannot be selfish. If Christ had had a hint of selfishness in Him, He would never have went to the cross.

And here's another spiel. Lately, it seems there has been a movement of almost selfish christianity. There is this whole movement of "you have to love yourself first before you can love someone else." I say bullcrap! I know I may be stepping on a few toes here too because I know really strong christians that believe this, but I respectfully disagree. Because love puts other's first by definition. I say By loving others as God has loved you and by realizing how much God loves you, you are then able to love yourself. Because you recognize how fearfully and wonderfully you are made.(Psalm 139:14). Love must be put into practice to be grasped, and if you put loving yourself into practice first, well then I'm sorry, but aren't you really only practicing selfishness?

But anyway, back to the selfish christianity. I know I have fallen victim to it on occasion. We study and highlight verses in the Bible only when they are applicable to us- only when they meet our needs. Nevermind the fact that it may be hard core truth, if it doesn't fit with what I'm going through, I'm not going to take the time to read it. How many of us have said this? How many of us have put God on the side line until it is convenient to play Him? We're not football coaches, we're Christians. And as such, we should recognize that we don't call the shots. You're not the coach. You're not even the quarterback. God is God and He will not stand to be shoved on a shelf until You're ready to use Him only to your advantage. You only have one parking space! The other goes to God and what He commands and directs for your life. Stop crowding into His space!

And here's another humbling truth- this relationship was never about you. The whole purpose of this life is to bring your Creator glory! He really truly is the greatest. Isaiah 42:8, "I am the Lord; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols."

They say pastors are there to offer spiritual insight. The insight? I've been a double parker way too long.

Confessions of a Broken Toe...

Well my friends, it seems another bone in this body is once again broken. But don't fret, I am well on my way to recovery. A little ice, some elevation, 3 or 4 advil, and a huge amount of patience and I'll be good as new. So, why is this so hard? Because there is pain. But even in the pain, you have to have patience that the pain will eventually cease. So, as I'm sitting here in agony (ha ha actually its really not that bad) I reflect on patience.

Patience has never been easy for me. I know, it's shocking isn't it? Some people can wait for hours for something and not think twice about it. Me? Not so much. LA traffic thoroughly exasperates me. Especially when I'm trying to go home. Winter/Summer breaks never seem to come fast enough. I hate just sitting in the dorm doing nothing. But lately that's all I've been able to do. Indeed, it seems the hardest part of being patient isn't waiting for good things to come, but rather for bad things to pass.

Because here's the thing. When you're not patient, it's wearisome. I thoroughly believe with the loss of patience there is the loss of peace. That's why Romans 12:12 says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." When we loose our pateince we become disheartened pessimists. Isn't it interesting how our outlooks on life completely change when we just have to sit and wait? It forces us to think bigger than ourselves. If forces us to rely on one who can and does control the situation. When we are left helpless we become blatantly aware of our need for God.

And sometimes it's hard to wait. God's answer is not always immediately yes or no. And when this happens as it currently is with the Dominican and Sea World battle I sit there thinking "Ah, God this is so frustrating! Why can't You just tell me?" But then He comes back with, "Because I already know. I'm all knowing and you're not ready yet. You need to trust me a little more with this. You need a little more pateince." I almost cringe at the word now because I know what it entails.

Patience is a call to endure and trust. And it's a strong determination of will to do so. So why go through the efforts? Because God is patient. 2 Peter 3:15, "Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him." I'm so glad that our God is patient or I would not have a hope in the world.

From this we take a lesson from Exodus 32. The Hebrews were finally free from Egypt, and they were sitting at the foot of Mount Sinai waiting for Moses to come back down from the mountain. Several of the people became restless and went to Aaron requesting that some gods be created for them to follow. So Aaron took their gold and created a sculpture of a calf. The people began to celebrate in "pagan revelry." The celebration angered the Lord, who told Moses that He was going to destroy the people. Moses prayed for their safety, and the Lord allowed the people to live. Yet, Moses was so angry with their impatience that he ordered that those not on the Lord's side be killed. The Lord then sent a "great plague upon the people because they had worshiped the calf Aaron had made."

I find this somewhat ironic. Here is a people that had literally waited for decades to be free from the Egyptians. They had just witnessed God part the Red Sea and completely wipe out the Egyptian army. They had seen what He had done to the firstborn of those who turned their backs on Him. Now all of a sudden, Moses goes up to Mt. Sinai and they're like "Oh, God's abandoned us!" We read this story and sit back and almost laugh at the idiocy. But this is no laughing matter. How many times has God proven Himself faithful to me? Well, how many days have I been alive?

Not only did the Hebrew's impatience bring an immediate plague, but it had consequences down the road too. Eventually it cost them their chance to enter the Promised Land. 40 years went by before their descendants were finally given the land. Sometimes God's timing is the most important, because he has other blessings to bestow. We cannot know all of His ways, so it is important to have trust in the delay. Eventually what will come your way will be better than you ever thought it could be, because it will come with God's blessings.

So besides blessings, what else is the purpose of being pateint? Well, I'm glad you asked because I have some thoughts on this. Patience keeps us faithful to the Lord. John 15:4, "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." Patience keeps us on our toes. Mark 13:32, ""No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come."

Some times it's very hard to just sit and wait. But it's all for a reason. I'm thoroughly enjoying the rest from my busy schedule. And the fruit of pateince is not to wait only in the good times, but in the bad as well. It also means not taking out the flute player that practices until two in the morning downstairs. This is the hardest- patience in suffering. But always remember that God is faithful. He knows what He's doing and He hasn't forgotten you in the corner. So be content in waiting. Easier said than done I know.

Psalm 40:1, "For the director of music. Of David. A psalm. I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry."

Confessions of a Miss America News Watcher...

So, the other day I was bored out of my mind. And after my roommate and I had finished drawing mustaches on our faces with eyeliner I decided it was time to cave and finally turned on the T.V. The channel was on a news network. Normally I don't watch the news because it is so morbidly depressing, but that night they had a pastor form Florida on and he was saying how on September 11th people should burn the Koran.

Instantly I got the tingles. Something about this was just not quite right. And finally after a few minutes of thinking about it I was able to narrow it down. How is this being a peacemaker?

Today in America we're all about being proud. Standing up for your rights. And I'm not saying anything bad about it. I think in certain situations its admirable. I've always believed if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything. But there is a difference between standing for something and attacking.

I think for a lot of people this gets confused. Standing takes courage. Not attacking takes a willful desire to keep the peace. Christ says turn the other cheek. Don't fight back. When the Pharisees mocked Him, He kept silent. However, He also kept preaching.

And here's another thing I learned watching the news. The world is a pretty scary place and at times like this it is so comforting to know Peace. The one who calmed the storm is the same one handling every situation. I think what that Pastor in Florida forgot was that God's hand was all over September 11th. He was Sovereign through it. And although I'm pretty sure He wasn't too fond of what went down, God is good. And He will make good, even out of evil.

The world lacks peace because they don't recognize the one who gives it. Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You."

John 16:33, "I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world."

Colossians 3:15, "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. Christ is peace. Let Christ rule in your hearts.

All of these verses demand one conclusion. If you want peace you have to know Peace. The Prince of Peace. You can't get it any other way. And you'll never survive this world without it. Because when you take away God, you have chaos. You have murder, rape, deceit, idolatry, cheating, etc. Not a very good thing to put your trust in if you ask me.

I don't know if we're all going to die by global warming. I don't know if there is going to be a massive earthquake and LA is going to fall into the ocean. I don't know if the world will truly end in 2012. But I'm not too worried. I've survived the swine flue, Y2K, Bird flue, Valley Fever Epidemic, and Mad Cow disease. And most importantly, I know Peace.

The world is lost and looking for answers. So many things happen and people find themselves panicking, saying "What will we do? How will we stop this? I'm so tired of fighting, all I want is world peace."

So here's my mission. I'm going to be Miss America and when they ask what I want most I'm going to say "World Peace." But unlike the other contestants I'm not going to stop there. No, what good is the solution if you don't have a method of getting it? So here it is America. Here is my solution for World Peace: Christ. Chaos and destruction cannot stand when up against our God!

Ephesians 2:14, "For He Himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier."